


I'm With The Band?

by alby_mangroves, Mystrana



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Art, Big Bang Challenge, College AU, Drawing, Fanart, Fluff, Illustrated, M/M, Wee bit of angst, band au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 00:30:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11840247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alby_mangroves/pseuds/alby_mangroves, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystrana/pseuds/Mystrana
Summary: Steve Rogers is getting by just fine spending every Friday night by himself, thank you very much, until his classmate Peggy invites him to come see her favorite local band. One look at the lead singer Bucky, and it's lust at first sight. The next thing he knows, Steve is outside making out with the guy of his dreams, but it's never that simple - Bucky's bandmate Natasha finds them outside and all but drags Bucky back inside by his ear.Steve's not sure where to go from here, but he's pretty sure, somehow or another, he's gonna have to see Bucky again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for the [ Stucky Big Bang 2017! ](https://thestuckylibrary-bigbang.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I literally cannot say enough nice things about [ Alby Mangroves](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alby_mangroves/pseuds/alby_mangroves), who not only made my day by selecting my summary (!!!!) but ALSO was an amazing collaborative partner. This fic wouldn't be half as good without that. Heck, this fic might not even exist without that! So, thank you. Alby is on [tumblr](http://artgroves.tumblr.com/) as well!
> 
> Thank you as well to our lovely beta reader [ littleblackfox!](http://archiveofourown.org/users/littleblackfox/pseuds/littleblackfox) Littleblackfox is also on [ tumblr. ](http://thelittleblackfox.tumblr.com/)  
> And to everyone, please enjoy!
> 
> ~Mystrana

 

It wasn’t that Steve Rogers was a bad student. It was just that his professor had been circling around the same point for a good fifteen minutes now, standing in front of a white board covered in an array of multicolored arrows and words, no negative space left to be seen. Steve’s notebook had three lines of dutifully taken notes long forgotten beneath a full page sketch of a fantastical dragon using his fire-breathing skills to light the candles of a small birthday cake for a young, delighted prince.

The thump of a notebook closing to his left jerked him out of his drawing trance. Steve glanced up and saw the classmate sitting next to him leaning from her seat at the long table to get a better view of his notebook, her brown curls falling across her shoulders. Behind her, Steve saw the clock and realized class was over.

“Hey, nice drawing, Sir Artist,” she said, a bright smile dancing on her perfectly red-painted lips as she gathered her notebook and pencil up into her brown, worn backpack.

“Thanks.” His voice was quiet as he looked up at her. “I was bored.”

“You know, I hear this class gets a lot more interesting once we get past the first week – there’s only so many times I can hear about the human connection of the hero’s journey, though,” she said, mirth dancing behind her beautiful brown eyes. “And I don’t know if we’ll be learning about whatever story you’re drawing there.”

“Well, this is just for fun.” Steve glanced at the picture and then looked up at his classmate again. “But yeah, I wasn’t expecting a repeat of my high school English class. I’m sure he just wants us all on the same page before we go on, I guess.”

When she nodded in agreement, her curls bounced. “Well, and you know how it can be at community college. Sometimes the professors hold your hand a little tighter.”

“But it’s affordable,” Steve replied, “so I can’t complain. Too much.” He packed up his books, shoving his pencil case into his backpack.

“I hear you. My name’s Peggy, by the way. Peggy Carter.”

When she smiled again, Steve fought back a sudden, unexpected urge to ask her to let him draw her for his art class portfolio. Instead, he returned the smile. “I’m Steve Rogers. See you next week, Peggy.”

~~~

True to Peggy’s prediction, their professor did branch out into new topics the second week of classes. He scrawled on the whiteboard in a straightforward manner, and Steve’s notebook reflected the difference; the only drawings were a few squiggles in the margins of pages otherwise full of notes.

“I’m glad we moved on to new things,” Peggy told him after class as they got ready to leave the room. “But I was hoping to see another ‘Steve original’.”

Steve felt his cheeks warming ever so slightly. “I only draw during lectures when I’m bored,” he admitted.

“So I’m guessing you’re an art major?” Peggy asked.

“Well, I’m focusing on my general AA for now and worrying about my major when I transfer next semester,” Steve half-shrugged as he closed his notebook and shoved it in his bag.

“Very practical.” Peggy nodded. Her brown eyes lit up and before Steve could say anything, she went on. “In fact, I suspect everything you do is nothing but practical.” She pointed to her black t-shirt, which featured a band logo he didn’t recognize. “How about I help you shake things up a little. Why don’t you come to a concert this Friday with my cousin and me? My favorite local band is playing at The Downtown Bar.”

Steve hesitated. “Oh, um, I’m not twenty-one,” he said, rubbing at the back of his head, mussing his short hair.

 

 

“It’s an eighteen plus show,” Peggy replied. “So I think that means we’re ok, right?”

“Yeah, I did have my birthday over the summer.” Steve was unsure what else to say. Going out to a loud concert wasn’t high on his list of Friday night activities – he’d much rather lose himself in a book or an art project.

Peggy waved her hand as if she were brushing away his concerns. “Oh, you are a young one! Where do you live? I can come pick you up.”

Steve paused, and then gave her his parent’s address, and Peggy nodded. “Great,” she said. “That’s right on my way. I’ll pick you up around eight.”

“Uh,” Steve started, before shaking his head, unable to finish his sentence out loud. Was this a date?

Peggy seemed to know what he was thinking. “Let’s get to know each other as friends, first.” She winked. “Then, maybe we can consider going out.”

Steve blushed. It was only after Peggy had left the room and he was heading to the cafeteria to grab a sandwich that he realized he had never actually said yes to her offer. A little later, around a mouthful of turkey and cheddar, he realized that he was actually a bit excited to have Friday night plans after all, and he smiled.

~~~

Steve had just pulled on a t-shirt and what he figured were an acceptable concert pair of dark jeans when he heard the crunch of tires on his parents' gravel driveway. Shadow, the family black lab, barked once at the noise, and a glance out of his bedroom window confirmed that Peggy had pulled up in her dark gray Corolla. He headed to the door to greet Peggy and introduce her briefly to his mother. Steve’s mother Sarah didn’t hide her happiness that Steve was going out.

“Come in for a moment, dear,” Sarah said, waving Peggy in past the small entryway to the living room, gesturing for her to sit down and offering her a glass of water even as Peggy protested that her cousin was waiting outside in the car. “I know it’s still so early in the semester, but I was just so glad Steve told me he was going out with a girl from his class. He keeps to himself so much!”

“Thanks for the water, Mrs Rogers. I promise we’ll take good care of him for you.” Peggy smiled, and Sarah gave Peggy a look that had Steve rolling his eyes.

“I can take care of myself, you guys,” Steve groused as they headed for the door, but he turned to grin at his mom just the same.

In the car, Peggy introduced him to her cousin, Sharon. Sharon had sandy blonde curls to match Peggy’s brown. “Sharon’s mom - my mom’s sister - was pregnant at the same time as my mom was, but her due date was a week later,” Peggy said, checking her mirrors as she backed out of the driveway.

Sharon picked up the ending of the story: “So of course, when my mom went into labor a week before her mom was due, it was almost a fight.” She laughed, and it was infectious. Steve couldn’t help but grin. “At least, that’s how they tell it these days.”

“I don’t know if they ever stopped fighting,” Peggy added. “You know, sibling rivalry.”

Steve shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. Only child.”

“Funny enough, so are we,” Peggy replied. She caught his eye in the rearview mirror for a second and her red lips curled up in a smile as Sharon fiddled with the CD player until music began to blare, keeping their conversations to a minimum during the drive.

~~~

The bar was small and dark. Steve blinked several times and his eyes adjusted to the lack of lighting as he tucked his driver’s license back into his wallet, his wrist bare unlike Sharon and Peggy, who now both sported the green “21+” wristbands. Around the room, people stood in groups of all sizes, talking to each other. Steve overheard bits and pieces from a few conversations as he scanned the room, taking it all in.

“I wonder if they’re gonna play their new songs,” one woman was saying to her friend as they walked past Steve on their way towards the stage at the back of the room. Steve realized the room was quite a bit larger than he had first thought.

“Yeah,” the other woman replied, just within earshot. “I heard the singer just like, had a break up or something. I hope it doesn’t affect his performance tonight.”

“I’m gonna grab us some drinks,” Peggy announced and Steve turned his attention back to her. “Want anything?”

“Uh,” Steve realized that this was his first time at a bar and he had no fucking clue what the etiquette was. “Do they have, you know, just coke?”

“You are adorable,” Peggy replied with a grin before disappearing through the gathered crowd at the bar.

“Come on,” Sharon said, nudging Steve’s shoulder. “We can go upstairs to hang out for a bit. Peggy will know where to find us.”

She led Steve to the side of the bar, where a small staircase led up to a balcony-like second floor. A few tables were scattered around and she chose the one with the best view of the stage. A group of people were moving on and off the stage, setting up equipment.

“So what kind of music are you into?” Sharon asked, leaning back in her chair.

Steve shrugged. “I can’t say I have a lot of favorites,” he admitted. “I listen to some older rock sometimes. I like trance when I’m drawing. My taste is a bit scattered, I guess.”

“Nice. These guys are solid rock, maybe a little punk. Maybe a touch pop. They really are the best. Peggy and I go to all their shows – and check out the crowd! This is the biggest audience I’ve seen yet,” Sharon said. “I’m almost thinking we might need to go elbow our way to the front sooner rather than later.”

“Oh,” said Steve, wishing he was a little more eloquent around new friends. But he had been a late bloomer, not hitting his (minimal) growth spurt until senior year, and he was still used to people treating him like a little kid, ignoring him more often than not. He didn’t mind. He had no problem standing up for himself if needed, and watching and waiting until then.

Peggy returned with the drinks, handing Sharon a beer and Steve a coke. She and Sharon glanced at the stage set-up.

“Look, there’s Natasha’s new second ride,” Sharon said, pointing down at drums on the stage. Just like her cousin, Sharon’s amber eyes sparkled when she was excited.

“I thought I noticed another cymbal!” Peggy said. “I bet that means they’re playing their new songs tonight.”

And though Steve had no clue what a second ride was, he nodded gamely and looked at the stage.

Peggy and Sharon continued their conversation, their voices dropping lower.

“Did you talk to Natasha about Bucky?” Sharon asked quietly. “I’ve been meaning to ask –“

With a nod, Peggy said, “Yeah, he’s been staying with her after everything that went down. She said he’s doing much better.”

“I’m so relieved to hear that,” Sharon said.

Steve had a feeling that the cousins weren’t trying to purposefully exclude him from the conversation that was obviously important to them, so he pretended to be enthralled with watching the band finish setting up. He wondered which of the six cymbals on Natasha’s drum set was the second ride and, unable to figure it out, he turned his attention to the rest of the stage. He watched the guitarist and bassist sort through a tangle of wires as they set up their places. And he wondered who the hell Bucky was.

“Looks like they’re almost ready for the sound check,” Peggy announced, clearly trying to bring Steve back into the conversation. “As soon as I finish my beer, we’ll head back down, front and center.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Sharon agreed as she tipped her own bottle back.

Steve sipped at his coke and nodded, trying to be nonchalant. He kind of liked his own personal space and wasn’t sure he wanted to be that close to the stage. But then, he had promised himself to try the full concert experience tonight, so when Peggy and Sharon got up, he followed them down the stairs and they shuffled through the crowd until they were indeed front and center, the stage barely two feet away from them.

The microphone buzzed, grabbing everyone’s attention and Steve’s gaze traveled from dark shoes to black jeans to a tight t-shirt as a tall man with short-cropped brown hair and eyes that shone green under the spotlight grabbed the stand.

“Is that their singer?” Steve asked as quietly as he could, suddenly and irrationally afraid the man on stage would hear him. In the crowded little bar, he still had to raise his voice for Peggy to hear and he glanced back at the stage, as though the man could have heard.

Peggy nodded. “He’s a cutie, isn’t he?” She had a big smile and Steve found himself nodding in agreement. She pointed around the stage as the band finished their soundcheck, starting with the shorter woman in a dark tank top. “That’s Natasha back on the drums, Sam’s on bass, and Clint over there will be the one to watch. He is such an animated guitarist.”

Which left the mysterious “Bucky” to be the singer, Steve decided. Before he could confirm this observation with Peggy, probably-Bucky turned towards the rest of the band, gave a thumbs up, and Natasha raised her drumsticks, counting out a measure before the room exploded with music.

Steve was impressed; the band was fun, energetic, loud, and entertaining. It only took a minute before Steve was bobbing his head to the beat. He smiled at the way Sharon and Peggy danced, their arms in the air as they sang along to the opening song.

And Peggy was right – it was great fun just to watch Clint and Sam interact throughout the song. Natasha was hypnotic on the drums, her bare arms moving swiftly in an intricate pattern of cadences. But his eyes always ended up back on Bucky, and Steve was starting to feel almost embarrassed at the thoughts that were forming in the back of his mind every time his gaze landed on Bucky’s mouth.

When the first song ended, Bucky flashed a rogue grin at the crowd, letting the last chord die down for one last beat before speaking up. “It’s great to see you all out here,” he said, his voice taking on a familiar tone as he spoke. “I see a few new faces though,” he added with a wink that Steve swore was directed his way. “So let me remind you all – we’re SHIELD and we are so excited to be back here tonight!”

As if on cue, the small but substantial crowd cheered and screamed and Steve smiled up at the stage, wondering where they came up with a band name like that.

“And you lucky guys,” Bucky added as he took the microphone off the stand and walked across the stage. “We’ve got some new songs – so let’s cut the chatter and get down to business!” Another grin, another wink, and everyone cheered.

The song opened with a playful call and response between Clint and Sam, and Steve couldn’t help but watch with interest; the way Sam grinned after each round had an infectious glee and Clint’s fingers were flying across the frets. This would be perfect for a music video, Steve thought as he watched them moving across the stage, imagining how he would frame the shot, highlighting Sam’s smile and Clint’s fretwork.

Then Bucky began to sing and Steve’s attention snapped back to center. Whereas his voice had been warm and friendly when he spoke, it was just a little deeper and a little rougher when he sang, and Steve found himself falling into the song, the thumping beat of the bass drum enveloping his body, the music flowing around him.

Steve realized way too late that he was becoming enamored and that surprised him more than anything else that had happened during the evening. He would have never thought he’d wind up as a groupie, but he knew by the end of the third song that he was going to have to go strike up a conversation with this guy after the show, consequences be damned.

 _This night is turning out to be something special_ , Steve thought right before the next song started.

~~~

When the set ended, Peggy and Sharon cheered longer and louder than anyone else in the crowd and Steve watched Natasha smile back at them and wave before she put away her drumsticks and started to pack up her kit. Steve was acutely aware that Bucky was only a few feet away from him, and that set his heart racing, so he did his best to act casual, turning his back ever so slightly to the stage.

“Well, what did you think?” Peggy asked with a broad grin and a knowing look.

Did she know about his mounting crush on Bucky? Steve wondered if he had been that obvious. “I liked them a lot,” he said after a moment. “I’m glad you invited me out.”

“I knew you would,” Peggy said, and Sharon was nodding.

“I don’t know if they’ll ever make it big,” Sharon said, “But they’re having fun for now and I’m glad we can enjoy them, if nothing else.” She paused. “The fact that all of them are easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt either, hey, Steve?”

Steve pondered his answer for a moment but didn’t dare take too long to answer. Since when did he care if someone knew he had a crush? But he didn’t know what the rules were at all. It was all new territory for him tonight and that push out of his comfort zone was starting to show. “Yes,” was all he could say, and he knew he had taken too long to respond.

“Hey,” Peggy said, putting a gentle hand on Steve’s arm. “She’s just giving you a hard time. We’re glad you came out with us.”

Steve nodded, and opted to stay silent. He considered the fact that perhaps Peggy was going to introduce him to the band.

“You’re ok if I go for another beer before we leave?” Sharon asked Peggy after a moment. “I figured we’re hanging around here for a while longer anyhow.”

“Yeah,” Peggy said. “Steve, you’re ok if I go with her to the bar? We’ll be right there where you can see us the whole time.” She laughed, like it was a big joke, but Steve got the message – she wanted to talk to her cousin for a moment in relative privacy, probably about that conversation they had had earlier upstairs.

“I’ll be right here,” Steve said. He glanced over at the back right corner of the room, where some of the band members had already gone over to their table filled with T-shirts and other merchandise for sale. “Or, actually, I guess I might go by their booth and look at the stuff.”

“Oh, great idea!” Peggy said, flashing another smile. “You’re the best, Steve.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at that statement, and Peggy laughed lightly in response.

“And adorable to boot,” she amended and turned to follow Sharon while Steve tried to control his blush.

Peggy walked off and Steve found himself rooted to the spot on the floor. Thoughts of, _it’s stupid to even go over there_ , and _I’m probably imagining that he even looked at me like that_ , and _I’ll just stay here until they get back and then we’ll leave and that’s probably for the best_ , ran through his head until they were interrupted by a warm, friendly voice.

“Hey,” that voice said, and Steve turned and found himself looking up at Bucky, and less than two feet of space between them. “Thanks for coming out to see us play. Steve, right? Peggy is always trying to drum up interest for us and dragging her friends along. And she mentioned you the other day.” He smiled and Steve hoped his own smile was friendly and not just a nervous grimace. Peggy had mentioned him.

“It was a lot of fun,” Steve said. Was that his heart racing now, pounding louder than whatever canned pop-rock song was playing over the speakers? He forced himself to ignore the way his palms started to sweat, and wiped his hands on his pants, hoping Bucky didn’t notice. “You’re a wonderful singer.” He watched the way Bucky’s nose crinkled at the statement, and instantly Steve wondered if that was the right thing to say. His breath caught in his chest as he winced. What if everyone told him that?

Bucky didn’t give him much time to worry that he was misreading the cues. “Thanks, man,” he said with his easy grin. “I have fun with it, you know?”

“I can tell.” Steve nodded, trying and failing not to stare at Bucky’s arms as he noticed the bottom of a tattoo peeking out from one of the sleeves, some sort of silver lined with black all he could see. “You all do.” Bucky was so close that Steve had to stop himself from reaching out to touch his arm. He bit his lower lip, positive that anything else he said would involve Bucky’s shirt and its rapid removal. Steve wanted to lift that shirt up and see where the tattoo went and then keep exploring. His heart rate had calmed down for a second, but it wasn’t going to last.

“We’ve all known each other for at least a couple years now.” Bucky shrugged, glancing towards the rest of the band over by the booth and Steve tore his eyes from Bucky’s body to the booth, where Sam and Clint were talking to a few fans and Natasha was holding up a shirt for another. When she glanced over at Bucky, he looked back to Steve and grinned. “So maybe we’ll make it one day, but in the meantime, we’re here to entertain.”

“That sounds like fun.” Steve tried crossing his arms, then tried leaving his hands on his hips and settled into a shrug. “I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m going to be doing with my life and sometimes I feel like I have no direction. You guys are just getting out there and doing what you love.”

Bucky laughed and Steve watched the way his head tipped back just that little bit as his gray eyes sparkled. “We’re doing what we love, sure,” Bucky said. “But I don’t know what I’m going to be doing with my life either.” His eyes seemed to lose their glimmer, fading dark for a moment. “But that’s life, then, isn’t it?”

Steve nodded, and watched Bucky’s smile emerge again. He decided he liked that smile very much, and that he wouldn’t mind being the one to make Bucky smile like that. And that thought led to another, a thought of how he’d like to press kisses on Bucky’s neck, and bite gently, until he was blushing like an idiot in front of this guy he barely knew, thankful that the bar was dark.

But Bucky saw the blush, even in the dim bar lights. Something like a moment of hesitation passed across Bucky’s face, but it was gone before Steve could register it and was replaced by the confident smile Bucky had worn all evening.

“Hey,” Bucky said, and his voice had dropped down into that sexy singing tone that made Steve’s face flush and he ran a hand casually down the front of Steve’s shirt, letting his fingers linger. “We could go outside together, just the two of us?”

~~~

A little voice in Steve’s mind kept shouting, “This can’t be happening!” even as he wrapped his hands around Bucky’s waist and Bucky’s brought his own warm hand up to cup Steve’s face, his fingertips teasing along Steve’s jaw. Steve couldn’t say who technically started the kiss, but when his lips were on Bucky’s, they fit together perfectly and he closed his eyes, his world narrowing down to the electric pulses of excitement running through his body as he ran his hands up Bucky’s back, enjoying the solid muscle and broad shoulders under the thin t-shirt material that was still wet with sweat from the energetic show.

Steve opened his eyes, watching Bucky grin as Steve threaded his fingers through Bucky’s soft, short hair and pulled him close, until they pressed up against each other, Steve tilting his head back just enough to kiss along Bucky’s jaw. Bucky arched into the touch, his hips pressing heavily against Steve’s and then Steve kissed a little harder, a little rougher against Bucky’s soft skin. Steve’s face burned as he ran his hands down Bucky’s chest, settling them on Bucky’s hips, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans. Bucky’s breath was warm on Steve’s ear and Steve shivered. The nighttime air around them was cool and had Steve shivering again, which only encouraged Bucky to start kissing him again. Bucky’s soft, wet tongue was running against his lips and Steve could smell his aftershave and –

“Bucky!” The voice, tense and clipped, rang loudly and they separated like teenagers caught in the act by their parents. Steve followed Bucky’s gaze up to where Natasha stood in the doorway, the light behind her illuminating her as she stood with her hands on her hips.

Steve blinked in amazement as Bucky slumped at the shoulders, turned, and robotically headed towards the open door where Natasha was waiting. She was saying something to him, but Steve only heard bits and pieces: “Can’t go with the first guy to look your way,” and, “Don’t want you to get hurt again,” and then Bucky muttered something and brushed past her and Natasha threw one last scathing glance at Steve before turning to go inside as well.

“Wait,” Steve said, as firmly as he could, stepping closer to the door. He wanted to ask what was going on, wanted to clarify his intentions, wanted to explain that he never did this sort of thing so that Natasha would stop glaring at him with those hard-set green eyes. She crossed her arms and waited, and Steve opened and closed his mouth, unable to think of a concise way to explain what had just happened. “I, uh, I really liked your second ride,” he said, arms hanging at his sides. He winced as he heard the words coming out of his mouth.

Natasha’s glare changed into surprise. Her eyebrow quirked up and her lips moved for a moment like she was going to laugh, but she kept her gaze as stern as she could and shook her head. “You’re a dork.” Her tone was much calmer than before. “I don’t think you mean him any harm, but this really isn’t a good time for him and you need to respect that.”

And then she was gone, the door shutting behind her and Steve was left with the fading taste of Bucky’s lips on his, wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into.


	2. Chapter 2

Peggy found Steve standing outside in the cool night air. He was leaning against the wall, his head in his hand and she crossed the sidewalk in several quick steps, her cousin close behind. “Steve! Are you ok?”

Steve looked up to see Peggy and Sharon crowding around him. He shook his head and bit back a sudden rise of anger. He stared at the green door Natasha had come out of, Peggy’s conversation with Sharon from earlier playing in his mind as he realized they had been talking about Bucky just getting out of a bad relationship. Their words mixed with the bits he had overheard Natasha saying and everything slid into place like a lock turning firmly shut.

Bucky didn’t want _him_ so much as he wanted _anyone_ to help him forget about whoever had hurt him.

And Steve could still feel the way Bucky had put his hands on him and he wanted those hands back.

Peggy gestured toward the bar. “What happened to you?”

“We kissed, he kissed me, and the drummer - Natasha - came out and dragged him back inside.” Steve paused, the moment replaying in his mind and he touched his lips as though perhaps it had been a dream. He could still smell Bucky’s aftershave.

Peggy shook her head, her curls following the motion. “Let me go inside and talk to her-”

“No!” Steve cut her off. Steve looked at the door again. Nondescript. Probably locked from the inside. There was no chance Bucky was going to show up and apologize for the misunderstanding, and say that he had really just wanted to ask Steve out for a date of a post-show cheeseburger instead of a rebound make out session. “I mean - no, I’d rather just go if that’s ok.” Steve looked at the ground, staring at the few leaves that had already fallen off of the trees in preparation for fall, regretting the way he agreed to come outside with Bucky so quickly. He hoped Peggy and Sharon couldn’t see how awful he felt in the darkening night, his forehead crinkled down, mirroring the lines of his frown. “I don’t want to see them again right now.”

The problem was, he did want to see Bucky again right now. His hormones still coursed through his veins, and his imagination was supplying a guess of how Bucky would look shirtless, and pantless, and kneeling on the ground in front of him. But Steve wasn’t going to admit that, not when he knew Bucky would forget about him in a week. He let out a slow breath, just visible in the night air.

“We can go,” Peggy said with a gentle smile. She held out a hand to Steve, and he took it, appreciating the friendly touch. “Thanks for coming with us.” Steve’s heart stopped beating so loudly and the clouds in his mind started to clear.

“I mean, it was still a good evening,” Steve said as he got in the backseat of her car. It really had been a wonderful evening until the very end. Those last minutes had knocked the wind out of him, though, and he was having a hard time shaking it off. “They played really well. It was a lot of fun.” But all he could picture was the way Bucky’s eyes had lost their light when Natasha ordered him back inside, and it was gnawing at him already. The man had been so energetic, so friendly, so perfect.

What the hell did Steve do wrong? He didn’t go out, let alone go for the one-night stand, so how’d he end up here?

He must have been frowning, because Sharon tried to change the subject and asked him about his classes. Steve obliged her curiosity and then they chatted about the courses he was taking and his plans for transferring at the end of the semester.

“Wait,” Sharon said as he talked about getting his associates. “But you just turned 18, right?”

“Yeah, but I was able to take college credits in high school as dual enrollment.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, scratching at the back of his neck. “Between that and my AP classes, I got the majority of credits I need. I took a few courses over the summer and now I’m finishing up my electives and,” He glanced at Peggy and smiled, “taking my English requirement I’ve been putting off.”

Peggy laughed. “Right, because taking it your second semester of college is ‘putting it off,’ you overachiever!”

Steve’s ears warmed as he became suddenly preoccupied with the pattern on the fabric of the floor mats. “I just figured the sooner I get out of college, the sooner I can get to work, I guess.”

“You’re in a hurry to graduate, but you don’t know what you want to major in.” Peggy didn’t sound like she was judging him, just that she was curious.

Steve paused, and Sharon prompted him. “What if money wasn’t an issue? Like, you knew you’d make enough money to cover living expenses no matter what you did.”

“That’s easy,” Steve said. He thought to his sketchbooks full of drawings, of the paintings he’d worked on over the years, of the photographs he had taken, of the short videos he had been editing for fun. “I’d love to focus on my art. But I’m not naive. I don’t want to put myself in debt for my passion. My parents worked hard to make sure I could go to college and I - I don’t want to waste that.”

“I won’t insult you by saying to follow your dreams no matter what,” Peggy said after a beat. “But consider that you have the drive to go for your degree like this - you apply that effort to a lot of things, you’re going to be successful.”

“Thanks, Peggy.” Steve couldn’t help but smile. And smiling was a relief, the tension in his shoulders and neck broke, and he took a deep breath, appreciating the way the weight on his chest from earlier in the evening had dissipated. “And you too, Sharon. I’m sorry I was short with you guys earlier.”

“Ever the gentleman!” Sharon laughed. “Hopefully we can get together again soon.”

Peggy steered her car into the driveway of Steve’s parent’s house. It was quiet and dark, save for the outdoor light his mother had left on for him. Here, so far away from that bar, Steve could breathe. The kiss he had shared with Bucky lingered on his lips, but the frustration and anger faded into the background. So he had misread the situation. He had been a little naive. He got out of the car, wished Peggy and Sharon a good night, and headed into the house and up to his room. Shadow jumped up at the end of his bed and curled up at his feet, happy to see him back home safely.

In bed, it was a little harder to feel as at ease as he had been in the car. The tension crept back into his shoulders as he stared up at the ceiling, torn between wishing he had gotten to go farther with Bucky and wishing that he had never gone out.

Steve was tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep and failing. Shadow whined at all the movement and finally just got off the bed, circling around the floor a few times before settling in to fall asleep. Steve wished he could turn around three times in bed and fall asleep, but sleep proved to be far more elusive. It took over an hour, but eventually his breathing evened out into something softer and calmer and Steve slept, dreams of Bucky shirtless and smiling the main attraction of the night.

~~~

Steve found himself googling the band the next morning, looking to see if they had a website. Shadow lay at his feet, curled up between the chair and the desk and Steve’s knee bounced as he looked over the basic website the group had set up. There was a brief introduction of the band, a couple of pictures of them performing and links to listen to their tracks and to buy their shirts. Steve poked around a little while longer, hoping to find biographies, even as he remembered that Bucky said they were just doing it for fun.

There was a page with little descriptions of all four band members and Steve almost felt guilty about reading through them, as though he was spying on Bucky and intruding on the man’s privacy.

He reminded himself that they had put this information on the internet for people to read and he clicked on the picture of Bucky. The webpage changed to another picture, a close-up of the singer, with long hair messily pulled back in a ponytail, wisps of hair falling across the front of his face.

“Someone got a haircut recently,” Steve muttered to himself in surprise, remembering how he ran his hands through Bucky’s short and enticingly soft hair.

Shadow whined at his feet and Steve looked down at the dog and shook his head as he scratched behind Shadow’s ears. “Don’t judge me,” he said. “Even though I am talking to myself and reading about someone who probably doesn’t remember my name.”

_“Growing up as the oldest of three, Bucky knew he would have to set a good example for his little sisters. He promptly did the opposite and, after coming out as bi in high school, grew out his hair and joined a band. Sorry not sorry!”_

With a smile, Steve read the short description a few more times, staring at Bucky’s face. He wondered when the picture had been taken. It really couldn’t have been that long ago - Bucky looked so similar, except for that hair.

He clicked through to Natasha’s picture next, curious. The little blurb read, _“Natasha received her first drum set at age five and quickly started a side business of selling ear plugs to the neighbors.”_

The picture itself was her smiling for the camera, not quite a professional headshot, but reminiscent of one. Steve spent the next few minutes reading the short biographies for Clint and Sam before he looked at Bucky’s again.

In the end, he lasted about three hours before calling Peggy’s cell phone.

“Hey, Steve.” Her voice came over the line like a light, a connection to last night, and he touched his mouth, remembering Bucky’s warm breath on his cheek. “Are you doing ok?”

“Hey.” Steve hoped his mom didn’t hear him on the phone. First going out with Peggy (even with another friend) and then a next day phone call? By fall, his mom would be talking marriage and babies, and suddenly Steve realized Peggy had been saying something and he had zoned out. “Sorry, what?”

“Wow, he really hit you over the head, didn’t he?” Peggy laughed, a soft and gentle kind of laugh that Steve could tell was friendly and caring rather than chiding.

“His lips might have to be classified as a dangerous weapon.” Steve laughed as well, but then he remembered the way Bucky had turned away from him and his lips tugged down into a frown as he stared at the picture on the computer screen in front of him. “I just can’t believe what happened, Peggy, and it’s kind of gnawing at me like a rabid dog.”

“That paints a picture, Steve.” She didn’t pry, just let him explain himself at his own pace, and Steve was thankful. He could picture the way she was leaning forward, could picture her mouth pursed in a thin line as she waited for his reply.

“I’ve never fallen for someone like that before. Ok, that’s cliche.” Steve laughed again. His emotions were cycling a little too fast for his comfort, but it was nice to laugh instead of frown. “But this guy? I can’t even explain. I don’t do one night stands.”

Peggy paused almost imperceptibly before speaking. “I think Bucky has that effect on everyone.” She waited for Steve to continue.

“Well, you know he came and talked to me at the show.” Steve got up from his computer chair, and started pacing the floor of his bedroom. Shadow gave a quiet woof and retreated to the side to stay out of Steve’s way. “We were just talking and I was doing my best to not just, I dunno, act like a fool and all of the sudden, he just looked at me and -” Steve was lost in the way Bucky’s eyes had lit up last night, could feel the touch of Bucky’s hand on his chest.

“I’m gonna say it seems like it was promising,” Peggy prompted after a few moments. Steve could hear the tinge of amusement in her voice and he cringed a little as he remembered what happened next.

He sat on the bed, nodding to himself and half aware that Peggy couldn’t see him nodding. “He kissed me, Peggy, and it was perfect and before I knew what was happening, Natasha was there, taking him back inside and telling me to leave him be.”

“Did you say anything to her?” Peggy asked, a hint of curiosity in the way she asked that let Steve know she was only asking for her own information.

“I, uh.” Steve cringed again. “I told her I liked her second ride.”

“Um. Wow.” Peggy didn’t laugh outright and Steve was incredibly thankful for that.

Steve swung his legs onto the bed, stretching out long across the faded, comfortable bedding and sighing. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t want to hurt the guy, Peggy. You guys had been talking about him earlier. And I realized he might not be in the right place for what I was thinking. And I just wanted to say something, anything to her. And that’s what came out.” And Steve wanted so badly to just have a chance to sit down with Bucky and start again and take it a little slower, but that chance faded away the moment he had opened his mouth to Natasha.

“I’m sorry, Steve. That’s tough.” Peggy paused and when she spoke again, Steve could hear the smile. “Hey. We can talk more in person if you want. Why don’t you delight your mom and take me out to dinner tonight?”

~~~

Peggy was gorgeous in a dark red dress that draped across one shoulder, her brown curls pinned up, exposing her neck and back. Steve smiled when he saw her outfit.

“I didn’t realize you meant dinner at any place besides the local pizza parlor,” he joked as he came out of his house, shouting a “see you later” to his mom.

“Right. And you often go get pizza in a suit, then?” Peggy raised an eyebrow as she casually looked him up and down.

“Couldn’t risk being underdressed.” Steve shrugged, grinned and smoothed his soft gray suit jacket. “You didn’t tell me where you wanted to go.”

“If I wanted a slice of pizza?” Peggy asked, returning the grin.

“Then you shall have the finest slice this college town has to offer.” Steve laughed. Peggy made him feel so comfortable.

Peggy shook her head and rolled her eyes even as she smiled, gesturing for Steve to go ahead and get into her car. “No, not pizza.”

Steve looked at the house and saw his mom waving from the living room window. He half-smiled, half-grimaced at her, waved back, and got into the car. “Where then?’

“I was thinking Italian,” Peggy said with a smile.

They drove about thirty minutes to the small, charming Italian restaurant on the outskirts of town, a popular date spot among the college students, cosy and comfortable with a hint of fancy. While they drove, Peggy talked about Bucky, and Steve listened to every word.

“The band has been together for a couple of years and Bucky has been attracting followers since day one,” Peggy admitted as she kept her eyes on the road. “He’s always had that infectious energy.”

“So how long does it take them to do everything? Did they just start playing in someone’s garage or something?” Steve was just curious. He wasn’t quite sure how long it took to form a band, write songs, or learn songs. Out of all of his artistic endeavors, music had never been one of his strong suits.

“Well, Natasha and Clint had gotten together with Sam and they were just making music for fun and, yeah, they came across Bucky and kind of - adopted him.” She smiled at the thought, and Steve pictured the man as a little stray puppy.

“And it’s not my place,” Peggy added, “but I’ll just say he went out with this absolute tool of a man a few months ago - they finally broke it off, and he’s been at Natasha’s place since.”

Steve raised an eyebrow as Peggy fumed at the thought of Bucky’s ex. He hummed, unsure what to say.

“I know, it’s not my place,” she reiterated. Her grip on the steering wheel was tighter than strictly necessary. “But sometimes you could talk until you’re blue in the face, but they won’t listen until they finally go through it themselves.”

“That must have been tough to see then.” Steve could feel the hurt radiating from her words and he had been in there before, trying to convince someone that they were in a bad situation and having those words fall on deaf ears.

Peggy shrugged a little, her fingers relaxing. “Right. Now here’s something for you to consider, ok?”

Steve hesitated, and nodded. He realized Peggy couldn’t look at him while she was driving. “What’s that?”

“I was talking to Natasha earlier today,” Peggy began, glancing at Steve for his reaction.

Just the thought of the two of them talking - about him - made Steve’s heart race a little, his palms volunteering to start sweating. “About me.”

“Well, about you, yeah, but mostly about Bucky,” Peggy clarified. “Natasha is willing to come talk to you tonight, if you’re up for that. Clear up what happened last night.”

Steve swallowed around a sudden lump in his throat. “What, is she like his body guard? I can’t talk to him until she clears me?”

Peggy tutted lightly. “I did just say the man got out of a bad relationship recently. We’re all a little protective of him, Nat moreso than others. She took him under her wing, so to speak.”

“Right, ok.” Steve nodded, trying to take stock of the whirlwind of emotions vying for his attention - nervousness about talking to Natasha again, elation at the thought of seeing Bucky again, anger bubbling below it all as he thought about someone treating Bucky so badly that his friends were forming a protective circle around him. “Yeah. I’m up for talking with her.”

Peggy called Natasha after parking her car, and they talked, Steve lingering on the sidewalk for a moment while he waited for Peggy. She nodded to him after the conversation. “She’ll be here in about ten minutes.” They headed inside.

The restaurant was the type of place that felt crowded in a good way, like a family reunion. Tables with red checked cloths and booths were crammed into the small space and pictures of the owner’s family hung on every wall. But the tables were just private enough for a special date and quiet conversation.

Steve sipped at his glass of ice water as he waited, thrilled that he had managed to keep his hands to himself and not shred his paper napkin into fifty pieces. Peggy ordered an appetizer of cheesy bread for the table, and they talked for a few minutes more before Natasha showed up.

“Well, Steve, you remember Natasha?” Peggy stood up, hugging Natasha before offering her a chair. Natasha dropped into the chair with a thankful smile and turned her attention to Steve, who shifted side to side in his red-cushioned seat.

“You’re nervous,” she noted as she held out her hand for him to shake. He accepted, thankful his palm wasn’t yet sweaty, and he nodded.

“I’m not much excited to make a fool of myself again,” Steve muttered as the waiter came by with their bread and a promise to let the three of them peruse the menu for a few minutes.

Natasha’s smile to Steve was only a fraction of the smile she had given Peggy. It almost felt like a threat. “Peggy explained some of the situation, and I see that I might have gotten the wrong impression about you.”

Steve shrugged. “I guess - Peggy was saying I only know some of the situation too. But - I feel awkward talking about a guy who isn’t here. Maybe we should just have dinner and you can tell me about your band.” Steve smiled slightly. “I am dying to finally figure out what a second ride is.”

“Bucky knows I’m out here talking to you.” Steve wondered if Natasha was always that blunt, and at the same time, found himself reacting physically to hearing the name out loud again. His heart started racing and his cheeks burned. Bucky knew that Natasha was here talking to him? Knew how interested Steve still was in him? His physical symptoms started to settle in his stomach and he took another sip of water to counteract the sudden taste of bile at the back of his mouth.

“Be gentle,” Peggy chided Natasha. “He really isn’t like the others.” To Steve, she added, “You’re so very young, Steve. And you’re very sincere and it’s not something Natasha’s used to seeing when it comes to the band.”

Steve’s brows furrowed. “I’m not that young and I know she’s not that old. Who are these ‘others’, anyhow?”

Natasha laughed, a sweet sound against the sour churn of his stomach. “I’m old enough,” she amended. “What Peggy is trying to say, and what I’m seeing for myself, is that you’re very straightforward and we both appreciate a friend like that.”

Friends. Steve was happy to think he was making friends, but then he realized that Bucky knew Steve was here and he wasn’t here and that put him back to worrying. _He wasn’t invited_ \- Steve reminded himself, but he tore at his napkin just the same.

“Bucky’s got that infectious energy,” Peggy repeated. “And even though they’re only popular locally, that hasn’t stopped more than a couple of people from trying to get him in bed just for the notch on their belt.”

“And yeah, he can handle himself most of the time. I’m not going to be his babysitter.” Natasha sipped at her water and leveled her glance at Steve. “But after that douche of an ex, the last thing he needs right now is some groupie trying to get in his pants.”

“I get that,” Steve said slowly, staring at Peggy and Natasha. “But Peggy - you invited me to come. You and Sharon were making comments about him all night long. Forgive me for thinking that you guys wanted me to meet him.” He glared across the table, unamused.

Natasha and Peggy exchanged a glance and Peggy nodded, chewing her bit of bread and then speaking. “I did. I didn’t think he’d find you before I got a chance to make formal introductions though.” She held back a laugh. “And I didn’t think you would go at him like that, Steve.”

Steve sighed and shook his head, defeated. “This is possibly the most awkward meal of my life. And there was that time that I came out to my parents in the middle of a family reunion, so. Congratulations you guys.”

Now Peggy was laughing, warm and real and friendly, and Steve’s tight grip on the menu relaxed. The waiter picked that moment to return and they ordered dinner, the discussion turning to talk of the band, of Steve’s college plans and then, finally, after declining dessert, back to Bucky again.

“So he’s living with Natasha,” Peggy explained. “He’s really been through a lot in a short amount of time.”

Steve grinned. “You’re like his mom now, Natasha?”

Natasha couldn’t hold back a short bark of laughter. “I thought I wasn’t that old, then.” She arched an eyebrow. “But yes, I’m feeling extra protective of him these days.” Her green eyes followed his every movement and Steve was jolted back to the way Bucky’s lively eyes had gone dark for that one moment after they had kissed.

Steve was so caught up in those thoughts that he forgot to protest when Peggy paid the bill, though he held his ground on leaving the tip. The three of them lingered outside in the darkening night, Steve wondering what Bucky was thinking about right now and Peggy and Natasha talking.

“Hey, Steve,” Natasha called out to him and he stepped closer, wondering if he was on the executioner’s block. She smiled. “Come out and see us play again, any time. We’ll look forward to seeing you.”

~~~

It helped Steve to focus on his schoolwork for the rest of the weekend. He didn’t like to leave projects until the last minute, and his calendar on the desk was organized with six different colors, one for each class. Paper due dates were noted, along with a skeleton outline on when to start writing each assignment.

He ran a finger along next week’s dates, noting that he had slated himself to start his art project next weekend. Easy enough to change that so he could still go by the band practice; he penciled the start date up to this Thursday instead. Nodding to himself, Steve looked at the rest of his tasks for the day and determined he had enough extra time that afternoon to grab his laptop and check that he was on-target to transfer next semester.

In between assignments and not for the first time, Steve thought about how his life might have been different if he had gone with his first instinct out of high school and gone into the army, like his father had. This time, the thoughts were a little different. He wondered if he would have met people like Peggy and Natasha. He glanced at the family picture on the wall, a moment frozen in time.

Steve sighed, looking outside. It had gotten dark, his whole Sunday passed by in a blur of studying, eating lunch at some point, going outside with Shadow for a long walk, and then more studying. He got out of his desk chair and stretched, feeling the tightness in his back and legs protest and then gently ease up as he continued to move.

When Steve sat back down at his desk, loading up his video editing program, his thoughts turned towards Bucky, something he hadn’t let them do all day. Even though he now knew more about Bucky, he still didn’t know much. Did Bucky have a job besides the band? Did he go to school? For that matter: how old was he? And how did he come to know Natasha and the band?

Steve shook his head: Peggy had said Bucky had just gotten out of a bad relationship. He knew that he’d just have to push aside any speculation that clamored to get inside his head, and forget about Bucky. He stared at his computer. The video he’d been working on was barely half-finished, but it was past ten and so he stood up, stripped down to his boxers and climbed into his bed, determined to get a good night’s sleep.

Steve’s thoughts were a whirlwind of what if Natasha hadn’t interrupted us and helpful images of Bucky removing his shirt and Steve all but whined out loud as he settled under his blanket. He tossed and turned, flipping his pillow over to the cool side as he replayed the conversation from the restaurant over and over again. Thinking about how Bucky was living with Natasha after a bad break up had Steve ready to find this ex and challenge him to a fight for hurting Bucky like that.

It was a long while later and two more pillow flips before his breathing evened out into the slow and steady pattern of sleep and one last thought. _I wonder what Bucky is thinking…_

~~~

Bucky was thinking that six in the morning was too damn early to be awake, and yet here he was, his lightweight jacket protecting against an unseasonable early morning chill as he walked down the sidewalk. Traffic was always calm at this hour, and he appreciated being able to half-sleepwalk from Nat’s apartment to his job at the local bagel shop – Hill’s Bagels.

 

 

“Morning, Maria,” he said as he walked through the front door with a yawn.

Possessing more energy than any one person had a right to at this time of the morning, Maria Hill looked up from amidst the racks of bagels and waved. “Good morning, Bucky. Today’s gonna be a busy day.”

Bucky crossed the small front of the shop and ducked behind the counter to grab his dark green apron, tying it on before going to the back sink to wash his hands. “You say that every day I work.”

“That’s because all of the college girls – and guys – come by when you’re working.” The front of her own apron was already covered in flour, but her dark brown hair was still swept up neatly in a bun. “I’m not complaining.”

“It keeps me busy,” Bucky said with a shrug. He yawned. “More than half those guys are probably here to see you,” he called over his shoulder.

“That’s a generous half,” Maria replied. She paused, floured hands on her hips. “You seem happier today. Tired as usual, but happier. Good weekend?”

“Interesting weekend.” Bucky headed towards the refrigerator to pull out cream cheese, pausing as he grabbed the different containers. “I met someone and let’s just say I thought Natasha was about to rip the poor guy’s head off.”

“Did you get into trouble?” Maria asked, her voice calm as she pulled the tray of bagels off the rack, and a bagel threatened to bounce off on to the floor.

“You and Nat put together are barely old enough to be my mom,” Bucky said, going over to help Maria with the bagels. “But boy do you both do a good impression.” He shook his head, hiding his scowl under a smile that turned into another yawn. “No, though. He was at the show on Friday. It was a good one. You should have been there.”

“Late night shows don’t agree with early morning bakery hours.” Maria washed her hands before starting to stock the bins with baked goods.

Bucky kept busy setting up the counters and didn’t notice the way Maria glanced at him, watching as he worked. “That’s why I’m thankful you give me the weekends off, Maria.”

“A kid’s gotta have a chance to relax every now and again,” Maria said, almost wistfully.

“Again.” Bucky put his hands on his apron-clad hips, turning to Maria to frown. “You’re not that much older than me!”

Maria just grinned. “But he’s still on your mind, hm?”

Bucky went back to the counter, picturing Steve, the sweep of his blonde hair, the way he had looked at him through the whole show. “Yeah, I guess he is.”

~~~

As the morning light streamed into Steve’s room, he woke up with a smile. He rolled out of bed, light on his feet. Friday was over 48 hours ago and as nice as kissing Bucky had been, the way it still sent a jolt of electricity down his spine, Steve wasn’t feeling as overwhelmed. He was ready to face the next week of classes.

First things first, though. Shadow sat at the end of his bed, wagging his tail and glancing pointedly at the door. Steve rose, dressed, clipped a leash to Shadow’s collar and they headed out into the crisp morning air.

They lived several blocks from the university side of town and, his upcoming graduation from community college propelling his feet, Steve headed down the road, taking a test-walk to his next education destination.

Steve walked with his phone out, recording bits and pieces of his walk to cut into a video later, heading in the general direction of the university until he found himself just on the outskirts of the campus. He watched students rushing from building to building, heading in swarms to their next class. He half-grinned, half-sighed. That would be him next semester. More classes, more rushing, more wondering what he was doing with his life.

Shadow tugged at the leash, breaking Steve’s reverie, and after dutifully tidying up after his dog, the two began their trip back home. They walked down the now busier street for two blocks and when the campus bells rang to signal it was already nine, Steve realized he was starving. He glanced around at the various shops, a collection of eclectic coffee houses and cafes perfectly suited for college students to study, or at least pretend to look over their notes.

Hill’s Bagels – _yeah,_ Steve thought to himself. _A bagel sounds good right now._ He wrapped Shadow’s leash around one of the trees on the nature strip.

“Hey buddy, I’ll be right back,” Steve promised as he checked the knot, scratching Shadow’s ears.

Shadow cocked his head and woofed once, and Steve grinned. “Yeah, I’ll share with you. Be patient.”

As Steve walked up to the small restaurant, his hand automatically slipped to the side pocket of his soft blue jeans – and he realized he hadn’t brought his wallet.

Shadow looked up at him as Steve turned around, and whined. Steve shrugged. “Sorry, bud. Maybe next time,” he said, ruffling Shadow’s fur before the two of them started back home.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey, SHIELD is playing at Murphy’s this week, Steve, wanna go?”

Steve glanced up from his notebook and smiled at Peggy. “I think I’m gonna skip it this time, Peg. Thanks for asking me though.”

Peggy rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow. “Steven Rogers, that is the fourth time you’ve said no and this time, you didn’t even give me an excuse. If you don’t want me to ask, let me know.”

Flipping the page of his notebook, Steve grabbed another highlighter and marked a sentence. He chewed on the end of his highlighter, looking up towards the ceiling of the library before looking back at Peggy. “I just don’t know. I keep thinking it would be nice to see them, but I don’t know if I could look Bucky in the face any more. It’s too much.” He didn’t add how often he had thought of Bucky, but in the end, it had been too long since that night they had made out. Bucky had probably moved on and Steve didn’t want to admit how much the thought hurt him, as brief as their interaction had been.

“Oh my god, just let me talk to him, then!” Peggy threw her hands up in the air, before smoothing down her curls and shaking her head.

Steve shook his head. “It’s fine, Peggy, it really is. He’s moving on from a break-up and I don’t want to be his rebound.”

“It’s been three months.” Peggy pushed her curls behind her ear only for a few to escape forward again. “Come on out again. Sharon misses you too.”

Now Steve raised an eyebrow. “You guys know where I am. I’m right here. We can go see a movie or something, if you really want to hang out instead of trying to set me up with a guy who isn’t interested.” _Not that I wouldn’t mind, I really wouldn’t mind, but I just can’t see him again._

“Can I ask a question?” Steve said after a minute passed in silence.

“Sure,” Peggy replied, her voice light. She paused for a beat before adding, “Good question.”

Steve rolled his eyes and grinned. “You and Natasha seemed really close. Have you been friends for a long time?”

Perhaps it wasn’t the question Peggy was expecting. Her red lips quirked up into a smile as she answered. “Half of that answer is classified. But the part that isn’t is that we spent four years in the military together.”

“No wonder I get the feeling that either of you could seriously harm me if I said the wrong thing about Bucky,” Steve said, shaking his head. “The stare down that Natasha gave me had me wilting.”

“She’s the one who could bring you down in more ways than you can count,” Peggy agreed with a cheery smile that suggested she herself was very capable of inflicting harm when needed.

Steve thought about it for a moment, before asking, very seriously, “So when you say that she’s basically Bucky’s bodyguard, do you mean he’s in danger of actual physical harm?”

Peggy laughed, a genuine and happy sound that helped dissipate Steve’s nerves. “Thankfully, no. The guy he was with before –“ she stopped, suddenly. “He wasn’t good, but he’s not out to get him or anything.”

“I see,” Steve said, and, his worry addressed, he decided to shift conversational tracks again. “So how come you’re not part of the band? You don’t play an instrument? Sing?”

“Now come on,” Peggy smiled again, her face lighting up. “That’s way more than the agreed-upon one question.”

“Just curious,” Steve amended. “You seem to be good friends with everyone, and it seems reasonable to assume you learned how to play a musical instrument at some point.”

“It suits me fine to be a fan and promoter for them,” Peggy replied. “I’m not one for being up on stage.” She grinned. “For the record, I have a perfectly good singing voice. But the songs always sounded better with Bucky, for some reason.”

That made Steve smile back. “Duets are in fashion these days, aren’t they?”

“Sure. You write the songs and I’ll sing them with Bucky. Then you’ll have to come see us play again, right?”

“You got it.” Steve chewed on his highlighter cap before marking another sentence. “You won’t see me there otherwise.”

~~~

Despite his insistence to Peggy that he didn’t want to go to the show that week, Steve thought about it all evening and didn’t sleep well that night, or that weekend, and woke up still tired on Monday morning. It was in the way he stretched out, careful not to move too fast, in the way that he rolled out of his warm bed and wanted to go right back in as his feet hit the floor, the way he checked twice that he had his rescue inhaler in his pocket because today just felt off. Shadow looked up at him from the ground and wagged his tail a few times, hoping that Steve would smile his way.

“Rough night, buddy,” Steve apologized as he reached out and gave him a few ear scratches. Shadow’s tongue lolled as he nudged closer to Steve, and Steve couldn’t help but smile. _Thank goodness for good pets_ , he thought as he headed to the bathroom.

He thought about calling Peggy again as he brushed his teeth. But last time he did that, he had ended up in a restaurant with Natasha.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, some notification of an email from school, and Steve glanced at it to make sure it wasn’t important. He wandered back into his room, pulling out a gray t-shirt and pants and getting dressed. He had spent the last weeks focusing on his schoolwork in an effort to keep Bucky out of his mind. It had worked, kind of. He had finished three projects in his almost frantic efforts to focus. But that left no work to be done now and before long, Steve found himself walking through the front door in hope of clearing his mind.

Shadow looked up, his eyes shining with hope, his ears up and his nose nuzzling towards his leash, but Steve shook his head. “Just me and my thoughts this morning, buddy. You wouldn’t like the slow pace.” Shadow whined just loud enough for Steve to hear and then settled back down on the ground, his ears relaxing as he fell back asleep as easily as Steve wished he could.

Steve walked up the same roads he had walked weekly, towards campus. The leaves changing color made for good footage along the way. He had gone several blocks before he realized how hungry he was, and, thankful he had thought to put his wallet in his pocket this morning, he decided to try the bagel place he had missed out on a few short months ago.

Hill’s Bagels. The door chimed when Steve went in and it was early enough that the only other customers were students rushing in to grab a quick breakfast before class. Steve considered the menu at the front of the store for a few moments before he looked at the employee talking to the woman ahead of him in line.

His heart just about stopped when Steve realized he was staring at Bucky. Bucky’s eyes were dark, light shadows underneath and he was yawning, but chatted conversationally as he made change for the woman, who took the dollar bills and stepped to the side as she put her wallet back in her purse.

“Hey,” Steve said, as he stepped forward. His voice sounded so loud in his head that he was sure he was shouting. He tested out another word. “Bucky.” He felt dizzy, like there wasn’t possibly enough air in the store for both of them to be breathing. The silence stretched out into an awkward long moment and he knew the woman standing next to them was surely wondering why he wasn’t saying anything and he needed to say something, anything. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

Bucky stared at Steve as though he was a ghost, and Steve watched the way Bucky’s face fumbled through shock and surprise and a flash of a smile, before being replaced by a wide yawn. Steve noticed his hair was longer, tied in the back with a few pieces falling out and framing his face. Just as gorgeous as before.

“Excuse me,” Bucky muttered, his cheeks pinking up around the edges and Steve’s heart fluttered at the realization that Bucky was just as stunned as he was. “I’m tired.” He paused, as if remembering where he was. His voice shifted into a pleasant but automatic customer service tone. “What can I get you?”

Steve stared at his own feet for a moment before forcing himself to meet Bucky’s eyes. Bucky was looking back, tired and maybe sad? Steve wasn’t sure. He took another deep breath, prayed that his voice wouldn’t crack or betray him in some other way and did his best to focus on the menu in front of him. “Uh, just a plain bagel please. Blueberry cream cheese would be great.”

“Toasted or not?” The way Bucky replied, Steve was sure it was part of the customer service routine. Convinced that Bucky probably wanted Steve out of there, Steve couldn’t decide between sticking around or turning tail, leaving without a bagel and running as fast as he could.

“Toasted please.” Despite his best hopes, the floor did not open up and swallow him away and Steve ran his fingers through his hair, scratching at the back of his neck.

Bucky rang up the order, giving Steve the total and accepting the cash Steve handed him. Their hands brushed, Bucky’s warm fingers setting Steve’s skin on fire where they touched and Steve dropped his change in the tip jar next to the register without thinking. He knew his face was red, that he was panicking, and that he had nothing to say that wouldn’t make the situation worse. Steve was about to walk to the side to stand with the woman who had ordered first and then Bucky spoke up again. “Hey.” Steve turned back to look at him so quickly that he almost fell over as Bucky continued, ”I’m sorry about what happened last time.”

Steve nodded, not sure what he should say, exactly. He scrunched his receipt in his hands. Bucky was working, and now wasn’t the time to bother him. “You needed time. I get it. I-” He trailed off, because he didn’t want to lie and say he was fine, but he didn’t need to unload on the guy while he was at work.

“I shouldn’t have-” Bucky stopped mid-sentence as another employee with dark hair in a bun and a matching apron came to the front with fresh coffee and a white bag for the woman next to the counter. She took her order and left, leaving the three standing at the counter.

The employee took a look at Steve, and then at Bucky. She saw the way Bucky was staring at Steve, saw the way that Steve was standing there, face burning hotly, and then her face lit up with a delighted smile as she put the pieces together. “Is this … Steve?” Though she phrased the words as a question, it was obvious she knew the answer.

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am,” Steve said swiftly. He was nothing if not polite. The woman laughed.

“It’s good to meet you too, Steve. I’m Maria.” She extended a hand and Steve shook it. “It’s nice to meet the man of Bucky’s dreams.”

Steve turned to look at Bucky, who had gone dark red in a blush that started at his neck and went up. It was almost like watching puzzle pieces snap together and he just about clapped his hands in joy as he realized that Bucky had been talking about him to this Maria. A spark lit inside his chest, warm and comforting and Steve couldn’t take the smile off his face.

“Maria!” Bucky sputtered. “That was said in confidence!”

Maria grinned and patted Bucky on the shoulder. “You did so well for yourself. I’m proud of you.”

“We’re not, ah, dating,” Steve felt compelled to clarify, his cheeks starting to heat up again.

She wasn’t fazed. “Yet, I’m sure.” Maria grabbed the order ticket from Bucky and headed towards the kitchen. “I’ll be right back with your bagel, Steve. And Bucky? It’s quiet enough that you could take your fifteen if you wanted to.”

Steve couldn’t help but delight in the way that Bucky was still struck dumb from the conversation. What a relief to know that he seemed to feel just as awkward as Steve felt.

With that information in mind, Steve felt a lot more confident when he offered, “I can go if you want me to.”

“You don’t have to.” Bucky’s smile was small, hopeful, and lit up his face. Steve couldn’t help but to stare and smile back. “It’s amazing to see you again. WIthout anyone else here.”

Steve was almost a hundred percent sure that Bucky meant Natasha, but he wasn’t going to call her out. He just returned the smile and nodded. “I’ve, uh, been thinking about you. More than I should have, probably. Especially when you’re not looking for -”

“It’s been a long time.” Bucky’s smile morphed into his trademark smirk and Steve was transported back five months ago, to when the two of them had met under the lights.

“I had the hottest kiss of my life and then -” Steve cut off when Maria came back to the counter with his bagel.

“Go on, lovebirds!” She handed Steve a plate in one smooth gesture even as she shooed Bucky toward Steve. “But only fifteen minutes, Barnes!”

“Yes, ma’am!” He headed around the counter and gestured to the front of the store. “We can sit outside if you’d like, Steve.”

Steve looked through the glass windows to the couple of tables outside, a chance for privacy away from Maria and other potential customers. “That would be perfect.”

Fifteen minutes felt like forever and too short all at once, Steve decided as he took a seat outside. The white wooden chairs were stiff but comfortable, the morning breeze was mild, and the bagel was delicious. But none of that mattered, not really, because he was sitting across from Bucky, and Bucky had been thinking about _him_ for the past few months.

“Maria is nice enough to let me work weekdays only,” Bucky was saying and Steve nodded, forcing himself to pay attention to the man’s words and not just his soft lips and beautiful gray eyes that flickered blue and green with the light.

“That’s great.” Steve paused. “You like to keep busy, don’t you?”

“Keeps me out of trouble.” Bucky shrugged. “But. God. I don’t even know what to say to you.” He laughed. “It’s easier when I’ve got my band backing me up.”

“Maybe, ‘I’m sorry I treated you like a rebound and didn’t even finish the job?’” Steve hadn’t meant for the words to be so harsh, but he found sudden anger ready to surface when he thought about the last time they had interacted, how embarrassed he had been when Natasha had came outside and fetched Bucky away. “Sorry, I don’t mean that - I -”

Bucky held his hands up in mock surrender as he cut off Steve’s apology. “No, you’re right. I spent the weekend after that wondering if I’d ever be able to, y’know, just talk to you. You’re right,” he said again. “I was looking for a rebound, but for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“And now here I am.” Steve watched Bucky’s eyes, tried to place the emotions peeking through.

“Here we are,” Bucky amended.

Steve paused. “Natasha came and gave me the ‘don’t mess with him’ speech the other day. I’m still a little terrified, like she’s going to pop up any moment here and glare at me again.”

Bucky shook his head as he spoke. “Nat really is the big sister I never had.” He laughed. “She fancies herself my mom or something, sometimes.”

Steve took another bite of his bagel and shook his head. “Yeah, I’ve seen that.”

“She means well. When I met Brock, things went downhill pretty fast, even if I didn’t see it at first. And Nat was there for me, offered me a place to stay.”

“Oh. I see.” Steve didn’t really see, but he was smart enough to know this Brock must have been the guy that had Peggy and everyone else protecting him.

Bucky was looking down at the sidewalk, away from Steve, and suddenly Steve realized that behind all of the confidence and swagger, Bucky wanted to be cared about. Steve reached out, tentatively, until he laid a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and smiled at him. Bucky paused, and then looked up at Steve.

“So it was downhill with that guy,” Steve said with a grin as he started to move his hand down to Bucky’s chest, “But maybe now it could be uphill with me.” He paused, hearing his words and he frowned. “Wait. That didn’t come out right. Maybe it should be downhill with me too? Or wait, no -”

“Steve?” Bucky looked down at Steve’s hand as he smiled at the way Steve tripped over his words. “You’re getting cream cheese all over my work uniform.”

Steve tore his hand away from Bucky’s chest. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry -” Steve grabbed a napkin as Bucky started to laugh.

“I’m just playing, Steve,” Bucky said quickly, grabbing Steve’s hand. “I don’t go home without three different types of cream cheese and a cup or ten of flour on this apron. And uphill or downhill, I guess I don’t mind giving it a chance with you.”

“You little jerk!” Steve’s tone was exasperated, but he didn’t take his hand away from Bucky’s. He had said a chance and Steve couldn’t help smiling.

Bucky’s eyes flashed, playful and ready to trade affectionate insults, but he glanced at his phone for the time, and saw his fifteen minutes were up.

“I gotta get back. Maria is all about timeliness.” He stood up, watching Steve as he did. “I can’t believe we’ve never run into each other before, just around here.”

“Small world, but not small enough, I guess?” Steve pushed his chair back and stood up. “Although I have to admit, I’m upset we met like this.” He gestured to the restaurant behind them.

Bucky looked taken aback, his forehead crinkling momentarily as he faltered, unsure. But he didn’t have to wait long for Steve to finish his thought. “I just really wanted to kiss you again and I don’t know if I can do that while you’re on the clock.”

Bucky rubbed at his face. “Seriously? You punk! You had me worried you didn’t want to see me again.” He moved towards Steve and pulled him in close by the shoulders, and gave him the softest, gentlest hint of a kiss. It was so different from the hungry, desperate kiss they had shared before and Steve barely had time to respond before it was over and Bucky was winking at him, turning and heading back to work after scribbling down a number on Steve’s napkin. “Here’s my number, send me a text, and we’ll plan for an actual date, how’s that sound? Let’s do this right.”

Steve touched his lips as though they were on fire. His face was so warm he was sure he could cook an egg on his cheeks. He opened his mouth to say something pithy, closed it, and then sighed in fond exasperation. “I’ll text you.”

~~

_BB: Hey so Thursday night won’t work - my professor isn’t canceling class this week after all_

_SR: Ok_

_SR: That sucks_

_SR: Friday night then??_

_BB: Do you want to come out to practice? Peggy mentioned bringing you one of these days_

_BB: If you’re interested_

_SR: Sounds perfect_

Steve stared at his phone. It was dark outside and he yawned, even as he read Bucky’s reply. They had been texting all day, trying to figure out a time to get together. Except, between Bucky’s job in the morning, classes in the evening and Steve’s class schedule, they couldn’t seem to find something that worked.

Maybe if he stared hard enough, the phone would surprise him with a couple extra hours in the day. That’s all they needed. Steve was starting to think he’d go camp out at the bagel shop for a few hours if they couldn’t figure something else out.

His phone blinked from 10:45 to 10:46 and Steve yawned again, stretching out and putting down his phone so he could get some sleep. He wasn’t sure what he and Bucky had, not yet, but he was dying to find out.

~~

On Friday, Peggy drove Steve to the band’s practice space, a spot across town that rented out several studios. He watched her as she watched the road, driving down familiar streets that had Steve realizing he could have seen Bucky out and about so much sooner if he had only gone out more himself.

Peggy was quiet in the car as she drove. She fiddled with the music once or twice, skipping a song that came up on her mix, keeping the volume at a level that invited conversation, but never initiating it. She had been quiet when he saw her in class that week, too. Steve looked out the window, watching buildings pass by, gas stations and grocery stores and restaurants blending together.

She steered her car into the parking lot of the practice space, a small lot in front of a nondescript building.

Steve didn’t see Natasha’s red car yet, which meant Bucky probably wasn’t here yet. Steve’s mind raced, providing images of him in his band clothes, his work uniform, nothing at all... Peggy talked as they walked across the lot to the nondescript two story building, and Steve listened with half an ear.

Peggy raised an eyebrow when she noticed the faraway look on Steve’s face, but before she could tease him, a voice called out behind them.

“Hey guys!”

Steve turned to see the bassist – Sam – waving at Peggy as he crossed the gravel lot, his bass in a black case on his back.

“Hey Sam,” Peggy said, warmly. “I brought a little company.”

Sam nodded to Steve. “Hey man, I think I recognize you from a performance, right?”

“It’s good to meet you,” Steve said, holding out his hand to Sam. “Yeah, Peggy’s been adamant about me seeing you guys play.”

Shaking the proffered hand warmly, Sam grinned. “I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but Peggy only brings the guys she really likes to the shows.”

Peggy laughed as Steve blushed ever so slightly. “But I bring the guys I want to introduce to the band to practice,” she said, not denying Sam’s words as they walked through the gray steel door and down the worn red carpeted hall before coming to stop in front of another door that proclaimed the suite inside to be “#3.”

Sam tried the door – it was locked, so he fished out a key from his pocket. “Now this has got to be a first,” he said. “I’m always rolling in to Clint tapping on his watch at me! Got out of work earlier than expected today.”

“Oh, what do you do?” Steve asked casually as he walked inside the practice space. The same red carpet covered the floor and there was a solid wood platform at one side of the room with a set of drums already in place and a little amp to the side. The wall of mirrors along the back felt out of place and left Steve wondering if the place had been a dance studio at some time. The other three walls were painted dark brown, and someone had strung up novelty lights of palm trees and parrots along the ceiling.

“Well, I’m studying at the state university to be a therapist,” Sam said. “But on the weekends I work at the VA.”

Steve noted the military connection and wondered briefly if that was how everyone in the band had met. But the more pressing question to be asked was, “So do you sleep?”

Sam laughed, friendly and amused all at once. “It gets a bit busy, especially around finals, I’ll give you that,” he said, pulling out his bass and beginning to check the tuning, making minor adjustments to each string, and nodding when he got it right. “But I always do better when I have more things to take care of. Can’t slack off if I don’t have any free time.”

“Very true,” Steve agreed. Before he could mention that he was transferring to the state university next semester, another person tried the door, found it unlocked, and opened it. Steve’s heart lurched again at the thought of seeing Bucky again.

Clint came through the door with a guitar case on his back and one in his hand. Sam wasted no time in pretending to consult an imaginary timepiece as he stared pointedly at his friend, his grin mostly covered by a fake scowl.

“Hey now, hey now,” Clint replied to the unspoken taunt. “I’m still on time,” he said, before noticing Steve and glancing over to Peggy, waiting for an introduction.

“Clint, this is my friend Steve,” Peggy said, emphasizing the word friend ever so slightly. “I brought him to a show a couple months ago.”

“Hmm,” Clint puzzled for a moment, placing the face as he and Steve exchanged hellos and a handshake. “You were the one with eyes on our singer, weren’t you?”

Steve was glad the string lights didn’t brighten the room too much – he was sure he was blushing again. With his pale skin and blonde hair, he was doomed to a life of wearing his emotions on his face. He nodded.

“Peggy and Natasha must really like you if they brought you here. They’re hella protective of that kid,” Clint said after a moment.

Before Steve could ask Clint about his possible military background, the door handle clicked again and Steve’s nerves surged like a cyclone, because process of elimination meant that this had to be Natasha – and Bucky.

Bucky came through the door, tall and gorgeous, his brown hair shining under the novelty lights, and Steve considered trying to blend into the wall. It was too soon to see Bucky again. What had he been he thinking? In the bagel shop, Bucky had seemed so approachable and human, but with the rest of the band around him, Bucky strutted and stood so tall and Steve couldn’t help but want to sit down to catch his breath.

But the little voice at the back of his head reminded him that he wanted to get to know Bucky, that Bucky had invited him to come to practice, and that this was almost a date. Steve took a deep breath as he watched Bucky move through the room.

“Hey, Peggy,” Bucky said, stepping up to her and giving a friendly hug. He said hi to everyone, saving Steve for last.

Steve’s heart betrayed his intentions to stay calm and started beating louder as Bucky moved towards him. Wearing a white tank top and comfortable jeans, Bucky looked like Steve’s fantasies coming true. “I’m glad you could make it, Steve.” He smiled and Steve smiled back even as he scratched at the back of his neck.

“I wouldn’t have missed it,” Steve said, breathless and trying to stay casual. “I’m – it’s good to see you again.”

Bucky smiled, but before they could say more, Natasha had started up a beat on her drum kit and Bucky’s smile turned into a knowing grin. “We’ll talk when we take a break,” he said, with a wink that took Steve right back to their first kiss and left him looking for a chair to lean against.

Peggy’s hand on his arm was steadying as she shook her head at him and the two went over to a pair of folding chairs to sit down and enjoy the music. In between songs, as the band discussed what to play again and what to tweak, Peggy and Steve talked quietly off to the side.

“You know that I’m not a writer.” Steve watched Bucky out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t help it. Every move the man made was captivating. And even in relaxed fit of jeans, the muscles of his thighs filled out the fabric almost like a taunt.

Steve needed a cold drink.

“So you’re not going to write my duet.” Peggy laughed, but whether it was from what Steve said or from the way he was helplessly watching Bucky, he’d never know.

“I guess I could take a course next semester.” He mused on the possibility, bringing his hand under his chin. The band started their next song, and Steve fell silent, watching. Even in practice, the group’s charisma was excellent. He felt like he could watch for hours - major crush on Bucky or not.

Steve watched Bucky talk to Clint about something. Bucky gestured as he spoke, his whole body moving as he made a suggestion. Clint said something and pointed to Steve, and Bucky turned, saw Steve staring, and winked again.

Steve was glad he was sitting in a chair already. He waved, but his hand felt too big and the wave felt wrong and he just wanted to bury his head in his lap until everyone had gone and then he could go home, tail between his legs, and never come out of his room again. He settled for blushing, which only made Clint grin and Bucky run his tongue over his lips and Steve was gone.

“Why did I agree to this?” he muttered, looking skyward as though the ceiling might part to the heavens and answer him. Or, at the very least, send an errant lightning strike his way and take him out of his misery. Just as when he had been in the bagel shop, no divine intervention came his way.

Peggy’s eyes were lit up with mirth and she stifled another laugh behind her hand. “I’m sorry, Steve. I’m not laughing at you, I promise.”

“Sure seems like it,” Steve grumbled, but his words lacked malice. He tore his eyes away from Bucky and kept them on Peggy.

“Talk to me about your ideas,” Peggy said, taking pity on him. “For a duet.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I can’t write lyrics,” Steve said, his focus on the band as they began their next song. Steve recognized it as the one he had seen them perform, Sam and Clint stepping forward in the practice space as they bounced the melody back and forth.

It was perfect, just like before. Steve couldn’t shake the idea of filming it and he grabbed out his phone to toy with the framing. Peggy watched as Steve stood up, pacing a few steps here and there and holding up his phone. Natasha was frowning as she watched Steve move back and forth, Bucky looked amused, and Clint and Sam were playing their hearts out.

Steve found the perfect angle, and flipped on the video setting. “Can - can you guys play that again?” he asked.

Sam and Clint paused, looking at Steve. Sam nodded. “Was there something wrong with it? That stood out?”

Shaking his head so fast his hair flipped in time with the motion, Steve said, “Not at all! It was perfect. It was amazing. I love it.”

“Ok, ok,” Clint strummed his guitar once. “From the top.”

They started playing and Steve started to record, moving quickly between Clint and Sam. Natasha’s eyes flashed and, instead of coming in on her cue, she snapped, “Alright, Steve, what the fuck are you doing?”

Steve’s eyes widened as he looked up at Natasha. “I’m just - I just wanted to record their -”

“You wanted to record them,” Natasha repeated, getting up from her stool and marching around the drums. “Did you even think to ask their permission? To ask our permission?” She glanced over at Peggy. “I told you he was just here to mess around with us!”

“No, not at all!” Steve protested. He held his hands up as the others came around, Clint standing next to Natasha and Sam standing next to Steve as though ready to break up a fight. “I just thought it would make a really cool video, I wasn’t thinking about -”

“It’s obvious you weren’t thinking about anything else.” Natasha glared and Bucky put a hand on her shoulder.

“C’mon Nat, hear him out.” Bucky turned towards Steve.

Natasha raised an eyebrow and Steve floundered. “You guys just really have a great energy on stage and I thought it would make an amazing video - I’m not really that good at it, it’s just a hobby - but when I see you guys play, I just -”

“He’s not here to hurt anyone,” Peggy said, standing behind Steve. Steve almost melted into her in relief at not having to explain himself.

“So show me what you’ve got then,” Natasha said suddenly, and Steve drew a breath.

“What I’ve got,” Steve repeated, nodding his head slowly and looking down at his phone. “Ok, but it’s - it’s really raw footage and, uh, not much of it -”

Natasha held out her hand and Steve relinquished the phone. She tapped the screen to start from the beginning and watched. The sound wasn’t great off of the phone and the cuts between Sam and Clint were blurred, but the idea was there and Natasha started nodding as she watched.

“This is good, kid,” she said. “You got anything else?”

Steve bristled at being called “kid”, but he was a lot happier when Natasha wasn’t yelling at him. He reached for his phone and pulled up his youtube channel, where he had stuck some of his other videos. “Here. It’s not much, but it’s what my finished pieces look like.”

Clint and Sam crowded around behind Natasha as she scrolled through the list and picked a video. Bucky came around and put a hand around Steve’s waist. “Look at you! Amateur filmographer and you didn’t even tell me?”

“Oh, it’s just a hobby.” Steve’s automatic reply had Bucky staring at him, incredulous.

“Just a hobby, hm?” Bucky looked over to where Natasha was watching a video with the rest of the group. Natasha was grinning.

“So, Steve,” Natasha said, holding out his phone. “How long were you planning on keeping this talent a secret?”

Steve grabbed it. “It’s not a talent; it’s a hobby.”

“I’m siding with Nat on this one,” Clint said. “Talent.”

Sam nodded. “You might just be having fun with it, but those videos were seriously good.”

Peggy was beaming beside all of them. “Listen to them, Steve. They’ve got no reason to lie.”

“Nat has wanted to do music videos since we started.” Bucky turned back to Steve. “But she’s still not about to ask you to film them if she thinks you’re shit.”

“Hey!” Natasha said. “I would never tell someone they were shit to their face.” She smiled sweetly. Clint, Sam, Bucky and Peggy all stared at her and her smile changed to something a little more devilish. “Ok, maybe I would.”

Steve grinned. “Ok, fine, you got me. I am taking a class this semester and this would be a good project. I just - I didn’t want to suggest it and come across the wrong way.” Steve choose to look at Sam as he spoke, figuring he had the highest chance of successfully putting words together if he focused on Sam’s calm energy. “You guys all have a wonderful chemistry when you’re performing. So maybe we could capture that, put it online, see what kind of reaction you get.”

“But, assuming you’re going to be the videographer and editor and do it all for free, we still don’t have the equipment to do that.” Natasha went straight to the business side of the equation.

Steve nodded with the enthusiasm of a new idea. “They let us rent the equipment to film projects. If you guys didn’t mind being submitted for my grade, I could use their stuff.”

Bucky tapped a finger to his chin. “Well, I love the idea,” he declared with a smile that had Steve sure the room was spinning. Steve sat back down, trying to pretend he had been about to do that the whole time.

“The rock and roll life gets to you fast.” Sam laughed. “But, I’d be down for it if you guys are too.”

“You’ve got me intrigued,” Clint confirmed, and looked towards Natasha.

“You always find them, don’t you?” But Natasha’s words didn’t have the same harsh edge as it did when she had called Steve out, and Steve relaxed, his shoulders dropping down, releasing tension he didn’t realize he had been carrying. He knew what Natasha’s response would be.

Peggy smiled. “All I did was go to my class like a responsible adult.”

Natasha turned towards Steve. “Looks like you’ve got the job, kid.” She allowed a smile, and Steve let out a little breath.

“It doesn’t pay anything,” Bucky was quick to remind.

Steve took a deep breath, steeled himself, and grinned at Bucky. “Maybe you and I can - uh - work something out?” The statement came out a little more of a question than he had hoped for, but the implication was there and Steve was delighted to see Bucky falter for just a moment before grinning back twice as wide.

“Just name your price.” Bucky winked and Steve floated away on cloud nine for the rest of the practice.

Steve and Peggy hung around when they finished, Sam and Clint putting away their guitars and basses and Bucky sipping from a silver water bottle he had bought.

“So I was wondering if you guys had a song you wanted to do for a video first?” Steve had a few songs in mind, the beginnings of a possible video flitting around in his head, but he wanted to see what the people who actually played the music thought first.

Right away, Sam and Clint were grinning. “Well.” Clint gave Sam a look that had Sam almost doubling over in laughter over the unspoken inside joke. “Sam and I are prepared to battle it out if we film something for _Space Wars_.”

Sam caught his breath and nodded, as Natasha exaggerated an eye roll and Bucky shook his head. “We’ve got it all planned out.” Sam spanned his hands in front of them, as though he were unveiling a big screen. “Clint comes into the arena - of course, it’s this old, dusty arena - and he picks up this beat up guitar, and plays a few notes.”

Clint picked right up when Sam paused. “The room starts to shake, just a little bit. Then Sam shows up, and starts playing the bass line, and -”

“-And I can shoot lasers with the bass, and I attack Clint -”

“And I’m dodging, but I’m playing my part - “

“And I’m just going all out trying to attack him, because -”

“-he thinks I’m the reason the building is in ruins -”

“-But then it fades out to the past and you see Natasha on the drums -”

Steve listened, a giant smile spreading across his face as Sam and Clint shared their vision. And then Bucky touched him on the arm, and that smile turned into happy surprise.

“They’ve been talking about this video since the first time we’ve played together,” Bucky whispered conspiratorially to Steve. “You’d better indulge them.”

Steve’s face was warm already and he wanted to reach out and grab Bucky’s hand, let him know it was ok to keep his hand there on his arm, but he didn’t. They had been flirting all night, but where were they going from there? Steve was, in a word, nervous.

“And then the dust clears, and we’re just standing in the middle of the room,” Sam finished, and Steve was pretty sure he had heard something about them combining their powers to fight off aliens, with Bucky portraying their leader.

“Ah - I’m not sure I’ve got the special effects set up for that,” Steve said. “I love your enthusiasm! But I think we’re going to have to stick to ‘you guys playing in cool looking places’ for now. If that’s ok.”

Natasha nodded on everyone’s behalf. “I think that will be fine, Steve.”

After a brief exchange of contact information and a promise to get together sometime in the next week to film, the group walked out of the practice space, and Peggy locked up behind them. Steve could still hear music and noise coming from the other rooms around them. The whole place smelled like smoke and weed and he could feel his lungs tighten up. “This has been great, but let’s get out of here before I start to wheeze.”

Stepping outside into the night air was a welcome relief. Steve took a few, good, deep breaths. The sun had set but the parking lot was well lit and the little group stood outside together for a few minutes longer.

“I didn’t mean to mess up you guy’s practice with all my ideas, you know,” Steve said as he looked around at everyone. The parking lot lights shone down, highlighting smiles all around.

“Yeah, we really just came to enjoy the view.” Peggy winked at Sam. “The excellent music was just a perk, really.”

Sam grinned. “You always know how to make us guys feel wanted, Peg.”

Steve frowned at Sam’s comment and Clint stepped in to explain, “Everyone always comes by to talk to Nat or Bucky at our shows. Sam and I are just the grunts with the guitars. Peggy likes to remind us otherwise.”

“Bass.” Sam made the correction with a smile that had Steve sure it was another joke between the two of them.

“You guys are great too,” Steve said, before pausing and listening to how his words might come across. He put up his hands, grimacing at himself. “I mean, not that I’m just staring at you guys and you’re not just here for my entertainment and -”

Sam held up a hand. “Steve.” He laughed lightly. “It’s ok, man. I know what you’re saying.”

“I’m insulted you don’t want to take me home.” Clint put on a pretend pout that had Steve smiling and laughing, at ease and happy.

“Sorry guys, but he’s mine to take home tonight.” Peggy put her arm around Steve’s shoulder.

“Tonight, ok,” Bucky said, putting his arm around Steve’s other shoulder, and Steve leaned in to the touch. “But next time, it’s my turn.”

Steve knew his cheeks were burning again as he thought about what Bucky was implying, but he didn’t mind. He loved the warmth of his new friends around him. “I’ll text you, Bucky. Good night everyone! I’m gonna start scouting out locations for our shoot tomorrow.”

“Good night, kid,” Clint laughed, and Sam waved and then they all got into their respective cars. Steve sat in the passenger seat of Peggy’s car with a huge grin that didn’t fade until he had gotten out of the car, said goodnight, and walked inside his house.

Sarah was sitting on the living room sofa, reading a book, Shadow curled up at her feet. She looked up when she heard the door open. “Welcome home,” she said, placing her bookmark and closing the book. She watched her son hang up his jacket and come into the room as Shadow jumped up and sniffed at Steve. “You seem really happy. Does it have something to do with your new friend Peggy?”

Steve paused, and then sat down on the loveseat across from the couch. Shadow nuzzled his nose under Steve’s hand and sighed, his tongue lolling as Steve scratched his ears. “Well, kind of,” he admitted. “But not in the way you might be thinking, mom.”

“Why’s that?” Sarah put the book down on the coffee table between them.

“Peggy took me out awhile back, you remember? It was to meet a guy.” Steve looked at his mother, hopeful. When she didn’t seem to flinch, he continued. “It didn’t work out like she had hoped, but - I really like him.”

Now it was his mother’s turn to pause and she let out a little sigh. “Oh, Steve,” she said. “And you had gotten my hopes up for a little grandbaby someday.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but smiled just the same. “You know, maybe we’ll adopt -” he cut himself off. “Not that we’re anywhere close to that stage! I just like him, and…” Steve couldn’t help the way his grin intensified as he thought about Bucky putting his arm around his shoulder earlier. “I think he likes me too.” Shadow snuggled up against him and Steve pet him again, the soft fur under his hand calming. Steve felt like he was fourteen again, confessing about his first crush.

“I remember when you came out to me,” Sarah said after a few moments. She was looking up, thoughtful. “I was rather surprised. I might have even wondered back then if it was something I did wrong, if you were asking for attention.”

Steve hesitated, uncertain.

“I know. I’m sorry I doubted you, sweetheart. Your father always said you had a good heart and someone would be lucky to have you someday. And it sounds like this guy might be that lucky man, doesn’t it?” Sarah picked up her book and Steve saw the momentary flicker of sadness replaced by a genuine smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. It’s late and I do have to get to work in the morning.”

“Good night, mom,” Steve said. He thought about everything he knew about Bucky’s parent’s reaction to Bucky’s sexuality. “And thank you. I appreciate you more than you know.”

Steve let Shadow outside once more for the night before the two of them headed to Steve’s own room, and sleep came easily that night.


	4. Chapter 4

“Ok, good, stay right there for a second -” Steve held his hands out in front of him, framing the shot of Clint standing on a picturesque rock, and backed up several paces, watching the light streaming across the makeshift “stage.” “Yes, perfect!”

“Glad you think so.” Clint wobbled on the rock before finding sure footing and striking a much more confident pose, hand out to the sky. “There we go.”

“The hell did we get into,” Bucky agreed as Steve directed him onto a smaller, flatter rock. Bucky stepped up and turned around. “And are you trying to summon a bird or something with that pose, Clint?”

The group was at the state park forest, just about forty minutes east of town, and though Bucky remembered camping out there one or two summers as a kid, he had never thought about recording a music video among the rock formations.

“For what it’s worth, you guys look great,” Natasha called out with a smirk and a laugh. Steve had already spent the morning filming her drum parts in a wide open field. She was dressed comfortably in her tank top and leggings while Clint, Sam, and Bucky remained thankful that it was late enough in the year that they weren’t overheating in jeans.

“Ok, and let’s go ahead with the chorus,” Steve said, stepping behind the camera tripod and nodding to himself, smiling at the image. Natasha counted them in and they started playing. Though the setup was as close to real as possible, Steve had to admit that the sound was a lot less impressive in the middle of nowhere. He shrugged. That was what the “studio” recording was for.

The studio being the practice space. It wasn’t like anyone had money to actually rent studio time. They finished up the chorus and Steve took a minute to review the footage.

“Sam, what do you think the chances are that you could finish that part and then like, jump down and sort of turn to the side, like this -” Steve pantomimed what he had in mind, and Sam laughed.

“If I were holding my favorite bass, it’d be an automatic no, but since I’m not - guess I’ll give it a try.” Sam surveyed the ground beneath him, and took a practice jump.

Natasha whistled behind them. “That’s pretty impressive, Sam. Better not let him know how athletic you are, or you’ll be playing music and flipping at the same time.”

Steve turned to look at Natasha and then whirled back to Sam, running his hand through his already messy hair, his mind racing as he thought of the possibilities. “Is she serious? Could you really do that?”

Sam cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. “Forget about it.” He climbed back up on his rock. “You’re getting the jump and that’s as far as it goes.”

“Understood!” Steve grinned and checked the camera again. “Ok, whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.” He watched in awe as Sam mock-saluted before jumping off the rock and adding a little spin. “Absolutely perfect.”

“Hey now, a guy could get jealous if he hears his boyfriend complimenting another man like that,” Bucky said, jumping down from his much lower to the ground rock.

“Aw, I’m sorry.” Steve cut off the recording and jogged the few steps between him and Bucky, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist and lifting his face to kiss him. “And boyfriend, hm?”

Bucky paused, his eyes searching Steve’s, his confident swagger lowered for just a moment. “Yeah, boyfriend?”

“Yeah I think so,” Steve said, pressing another kiss on Bucky’s lips as Natasha catcalled in the background.

Clint rolled his eyes, but his voice was anything but serious. “You guys are gonna give me cavities with that sweetness there. And, just me, but I’d really like to get off of this rock at some point, so can we get back to work here?”

“Jump down, man,” Sam said, and he laughed.

“Only if you think you can,” Steve said, but he looked up at Clint with eyes so hopeful that Clint nearly jumped down just to avoid disappointing him.

“Rest assured, my old and brittle bones would snap if I tried to mimic Sam over there.” Clint glanced at the ground again and nodded, confirming his choice with himself.

“Because you have bird bones,” Sam called. “Caw, caw!” He laughed again and Natasha rolled her eyes and Bucky grinned.

“Good one, Sam!”

“You children are going to make me late for my hair appointment,” Natasha said. She had her hands on her hips, but she couldn’t hide the smile that filtered through her face, and the others laughed again, and Steve worked diligently to capture that energy on film for the rest of the afternoon.

~~~

“Mom?” Steve called out as he opened the door to the house. Shadow woofed once as he came down the hallway, and then woofed a second time as he saw Bucky come into the room behind Steve. “I’ve got someone for you to meet!” To Bucky, he added, “This is the family dog, Shadow. He’s super friendly, and he will lick you if he likes you.”

Bucky was already holding a hand out to the dog, and Shadow was already happily licking at said hand. “Oh, what a good boy you are!” Bucky smiled at Shadow, and Shadow tilted his head and nuzzled under Bucky’s hand.

Sarah came down the hallway a moment later, and smiled as she saw Bucky. “Well, hello there, then. You must be Bucky. Steve’s said such nice things about you.”

“Yes ma’am,” Bucky replied. “The name’s actually James, but the nickname has been around since I was a child.”

“I didn’t know your real name until just now!” Steve exclaimed. “Can’t believe you hid that from me!”

“Can’t believe you didn’t ask,” Bucky retorted and Steve smiled.

“Fair.” He turned towards his mom. “Bucky and I are going out now, it’s official. So I wanted you to meet him.”

“Well, how lovely,” Sarah said with another smile. “You two behave now, I’m running out to get groceries.”

“He’s gonna help me edit the music video we shot earlier today.” Steve nodded to the equipment they had started to bring into the house. “Hopefully I’ve got something that works for them and gets me an A in class.”

Sarah patted Bucky on the shoulder. “You’ll have to get used to his enthusiasm, dear. He can’t help himself.”

“He’s got a lot of talent,” Bucky said. “It’s not going to be long before we see his name in lights across the big screen.”

Steve felt his cheeks warm and shrugged. “Aw, it’s not gonna be anything like that. I’ll be happy to get an A and to get you guys a couple thousand hits at best.”

“And modest, too. But don’t worry, I can make up for that,” Bucky promised. They headed up to Steve’s room and Bucky promptly sat on the bed, sprawling out and sighing in comfort. “Oh, this is nice. Way nicer than my bed.”

“It’s memory foam,” Steve said as he sat down at his computer. “Welcome to my room, by the way.”

“This is pretty amazing.” Bucky got up from the bed and walked around the space, examining each wall, shelf, and picture. “Have you guys always lived here?”

“Since I was like five or something.” Steve stood up to grab the camera to start downloading the recordings. “Been through a lot in this place.”

“It’s nice.” Bucky paused, looking at a portrait of Steve, smiling and barely at his dad’s waist. His mother beamed as she stood next to them. “When was this taken?”

Steve glanced at the picture and then at the ground. “I was seven. That was the year dad died.”

“Oh my god, I’m sorry Steve -” Bucky looked stricken as he clapped a hand over his mouth.

“No, it’s - it’s ok. I mean, I miss him.” Steve stared at the picture again. “I think about him a lot, but I’ve learned to live with it most days. I always wonder what he would say if he could see me now. If I’d make him proud.”

“I think he’d have to be,” Bucky offered. “And I’m sorry. I can’t say I know how it feels, but my parents - they kicked me out when I told them I was bi. In a way, it felt like I lost them that day. Y’know, the vision of who they were to me, anyhow. Always there for me when I was a little kid, and I just sort of assumed the comments they had made when I was a teenager wouldn’t apply to me.”

“I’m sorry Bucky. That really sucks.” Steve thought back to the biography he had read online on the band’s website. “And you have sisters, right? Do you, uh, talk to them?”

“Yeah.” Bucky looked at the family picture again. “Becca’s already out of high school and she left home just as soon as she could get a dorm assignment. And Rachel and Emily plan to do the same. I see them every other week or so, try to take them out for dinner.” He laughed, a little hollow sound. “At this point, I think my parents want to try to make amends, but - it was really tough, you know?”

“I can’t imagine.” Steve shook his head somberly. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“Yeah, well. I learned my lesson about going with the first guy that looked my way, that’s for sure. Thank god I met Natasha and the guys.” Bucky shrugged, as though he was shrugging off the deep tone of the conversation. “And that’s my ‘personal biography in fifty seconds.’”

“Can’t pick your parents, but you can pick your family,” Steve said after a moment, and Bucky nodded.

“Exactly. And maybe one day I’ll reach out to them and, just, see where it goes. Not for a long time, though.”

Steve nodded. “For sure.”

For the next couple of hours, the room was relatively silent as Steve uploaded the data from the day and worked on editing it together. Bucky offered a suggestion here and there and spent some time playing with Shadow, throwing a ball out the open door of the room and down the hall for him. Sarah got home from the errands she had been running and offered to make them dinner, but they had eaten on the way from the park.

“Steve, this looks incredible,” Bucky said as he stood behind Steve’s computer chair, watching the progress they had made that evening. “Ugh. I can’t believe how much we recorded just to make this three minute video, though.”

“It’s a bit of a slog,” Steve agreed. “I think it’s worth it, though. And everything’s gonna look even better once I get all of the finishing touches in place. This would be considered a pretty rough edit.”

Bucky nodded, leaning forward to place a kiss on Steve’s neck. Steve shivered at the touch and Bucky grinned. “Totally worth it,” he repeated Steve’s words, and then he kissed him again.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Steve muttered, tilting his head to give Bucky better access to the sensitive skin.

“It really is.” Bucky took advantage of the newly accessible skin, running his lips down Steve’s neck and trailing kisses along each vertebrae, loving the way Steve kept shivering at the sensations. “But I have to get going.” He had to physically tear himself away from Steve and Steve pouted up at him. “I’ve got work first thing in the morning. I’m usually asleep by now!”

“The rock and roll lifestyle, for sure.” Steve grinned. “In bed by ten o’clock.”

“Hey, well -” Bucky began to protest.

“It’s the same for me,” Steve interrupted Bucky with a smile as he stood up and turned to face him. “I need my sleep. Too few hours and my immune system kicks the bucket, just like that.”

“Great,” Bucky said. “We can be old people together, going to bed by nine, ten on special occasions.”

“Yes. And we’ll go to dinner at four to get the early bird special -”

“Bingo at the firehouse on Wednesdays -”

“And I’ll pull my pants up to my chest!” Steve pantomimed yanking up his pants and Bucky burst out laughing.

“But seriously,” Bucky said as he caught his breath. “I do have to go. We can continue this next time?” He leaned in to kiss along the side of Steve’s ear and Steve hummed happily as he nodded.

“Yes, please,” he said, pulling Bucky close, running his arms down his back and holding him there for a long moment before letting go. “As long as next time is _soon_.”

~~~

_SR: Gonna have the final product ready tonight_

_SR: Like 8_

_SR: Is that too late?_

_BB: Cool! Not too late. Wanna come over?_

_SR: Uh, yes!_

_SR: Text me your address_

Steve laughed out loud and Shadow perked his head up from where he lay on the floor.

“Sorry, buddy.” Steve ruffled Shadow’s fur. “It’s just that this guy has been living like five blocks away from me this whole time.” He looked at his phone again and sighed, a smile falling on his lips. “I can’t believe my luck, sometimes.” Grabbing his jacket and shoving his phone into his pocket, Steve called down the hall to his mom. “I’m going to see Bucky, mom.”

“Have a nice time,” Sarah said as she came out into the hallway. Steve smiled at her, and when he remembered what Bucky had said about his own family, he hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around his mom in a tight hug. “Oh!” She smiled and hugged him back. “What’s all this for?”

“I’m just thankful for you,” Steve said. He looked up at his mom. He remembered a time when he had realized, frustrated, that he would never be taller than her. It didn’t bother him like it used to. “And you have work tomorrow, right? Don’t wait up for me. I promise I’ll be safe.”

Sarah patted Steve on the shoulder. “Mothers worry, Stevie. It’s what we do.”

Steve nodded as he headed outside, the crisp fall air smelling of ice and promising flurries in the upcoming month. Steve was glad he had grabbed his hat, and he set on a short but entirely too long walk until his was standing outside an apartment complex.

University Suites. How many times had he passed that building over the last few months? Steve checked his phone for the apartment number one more time before heading up the staircase on the outside to knock on the door.

He paused, his hand an inch from the door, and smoothed back his hair and shook out his shoulders before raising his hand again, and knocking. He remembered almost too late that it was Natasha’s apartment and he should be ready to see her, when Bucky opened the door and every thought of Natasha was pushed to the side.

“Hey.” Bucky smiled. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a white tank top that not only showed off his stunningly toned arms, it also showed off the full tattoo Steve had only glimpsed before - an intricate silver shield covered Bucky’s bicep and much of his upper arm, the middle of the shield a circle half blue and half pink with a lavender star on top.

Steve reminded himself to stop staring and he looked up at Bucky, only to keep staring. Bucky had his hair down loose, the longer strands a little mussy with a bit of a wave, framing his gorgeous face. “Hi,” Steve all but squeaked out and he winced.

“Come on in.” Bucky gestured into the room behind him, a living room with a black cushioned futon, a little TV on a low table and a circle table and four chairs in the corner. As Steve stepped over the threshold, Bucky turned back to look at him with an almost feral smile. “Natasha is out for the evening, visiting a friend.”

“Oh,” Steve said, as the look Bucky gave him shot straight down his body like a current. “This is a nice apartment you guys have.”

“Anything you like, that’s Nat’s,” Bucky said as he gave Steve the quick tour, pointing out the galley kitchen in the back, and the hallway that led to the two bedrooms and a bathroom. “Anything that looks like it fell off the back of a truck? That’s mine.”

Steve laughed. “Ok, well, I think you’re doing alright for yourself. Natasha is a little older than you, isn’t she?”

Bucky grinned. “Sneaky way to ask my age, hmm?”

“I mean, I assume you know I’m 18, right?” Steve automatically smoothed back his hair again, standing at his full height.

“Yes, Peggy mentioned it once or twice. Something about ‘so mature for his age’ and ‘maybe too serious for his age.’” Bucky’s impression of Peggy was pretty spot-on.

“So let me guess. 20? 21?” Steve tapped a finger on his chin as he pretended to study Bucky’s facial features for an educated guess.

“Yeah, 21,” Bucky confirmed.

Steve nodded, as though he expected Bucky’s answer. He half expected Bucky to comment on the fact that his heart was pounding loudly from a combination of excitement and nerves. But Bucky didn’t say anything. “So if you’ve got a computer or laptop or something, I can pull up the video and you can let me know what you think? I can send a link out to everyone if you like it.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it. It has to be even better than when I saw it before.” Bucky headed over to the table and pulled off the laptop, bringing it to the couch and inviting Steve to sit down next to him. Steve tore his eyes off of Bucky’s legs in those jeans and sat down next to him. Bucky handed him the laptop.

“Yeah, I mean, I really like it,” Steve said, focusing on the screen. Before long, he and Bucky were watching the three minute music video. When it ended, before Bucky could say anything, Steve interjected, “If you don’t like it, it’s fine to tell me! I just -”

“That was amazing!” Bucky said. “I’ve never really seen us playing like that before. You made us look so - good.” He laughed.

“I mean, that is the point!” Steve tried to raise an eyebrow, to act stern, but he couldn’t. He smiled at Bucky. “You guys made it easy. You, especially.”

Bucky opened his mouth to say something and then stopped, and Steve took the opportunity to lean in and kiss him. It wasn’t anything intense, just a soft brush of lips again lips and his hand running down Bucky’s arm, tracing the lines of muscle until he was holding Bucky’s hand, their fingers entwining and the laptop perched perilously on Steve’s lap. Bucky closed his eyes and Steve took that as a sign to kiss him again, a little longer and a little harder, until Bucky parted his lips and then Steve was closing his eyes too, scooting forward on the futon until his leg was pressed up against Bucky’s.

“Wait,” Bucky muttered, pulling back for a moment, just long enough to grab the laptop and shove it to safety on the other side of the futon. He put his free hand around Steve’s waist, pulling him closer. “There. Perfect.”

Steve nodded, shifting his hips to press up against Bucky and bringing their lips together again, and again, until he paused and frowned. “Wait, you said all the furniture is Natasha’s. So this is weird, isn’t it?”

“Back of the truck futon,” Bucky corrected. “So this is all me.” He tilted his head, leaning in to press kisses along Steve’s face, enjoying the way Steve shivered at the featherlight touches. “But if you’d like, we can check out my bedroom.”

“I would like,” Steve said, and he forced himself to pause one more time. “But - uh -” He faltered and swallowed and looked at the black cushions before looking up at Bucky again. “I don’t want to be your rebound.”

Bucky took Steve’s hand and brought it up to his face, kissing the fingers gently. “I can promise you I’m not thinking rebound at all.”

Steve smiled, shy. “Just making sure.”

Bucky stood, pulling Steve up and wrapping his arms around him. “All I’m thinking is you, hopefully naked in the next five minutes.”

Somehow they made it down the hallway, the second door on the right, Bucky nudging it open and Steve taking a moment to admire the haphazard mix of furniture before Bucky started leading him to the bed, giving him a playful push onto the soft sheets and softer pillows.

“Oh my god, your bed is a marshmallow,” Steve said as he sat in the middle, sinking down a little in the pile of blankets.

“Back of a truck,” Bucky replied, climbing into the bed and straddling Steve’s lap. He reached down and tugged at the hem of Steve’s shirt. “May I?”

Steve nodded, his cheeks warming as he let Bucky pull his shirt up and over his head. Bucky tossed the shirt to the end of the bed and grinned, leaning in to trail kisses along Steve’s collarbone. Steve gasped and hummed, heat blossoming in his chest and working its way down into his hips as Bucky nipped at his skin.

“You’re so responsive, I love it,” Bucky muttered, whispering the words in Steve’s ear and grinning Steve shuddered again.

“You’re awfully mean,” Steve said, just a bit breathless. He grabbed at Bucky’s tank top, pushing the fabric up, his hands lingering along each inch of exposed skin. Bucky’s chest was perfect, muscular and smooth and warm.

“Mean? That was a compliment!” Bucky shrugged off the tank top and two kissed again, and again, Steve relishing the way Bucky ran his hands along his back, loving the way Bucky’s tongue was soft against his skin.

Steve would have been content to make out for awhile and call it a night, but then Bucky shifted against his lap and he could feel something hard pressing against his hip. Steve let out a long breath and with a burst of confidence, said, “you took off my shirt first, so - your pants go first. That’s fair, right?”

He reached for Bucky’s jeans, fumbling for a moment before undoing the button and easing down the zipper. Bucky leaned back just a little, giving Steve easier access even though his hands never stopped moving, touching Steve’s thigh and hip and back. “Whoops, forgot to mention I’m not wearing any underwear -” Bucky grinned as Steve paused and looked up at him.

“You got me,” Steve said, rolling his eyes even as he pushed the jeans down, freeing Bucky’s erection. “Gonna play dirty like that, I ought to just go home,” he teased.

“Oh, no, I showered right before you got here,” Bucky said, the picture of innocence, naked and looking up at Steve and licking his lips slowly.

Steve crawled forward on the bed, pushing Bucky backwards and straddling over him, pressing kisses on Bucky’s stomach, moving down until he was just above Bucky’s hips and then he moved back up again, brushing against Bucky’s cock with his own body.

“Mmmm, that’s pretty nice,” Bucky said, grabbing at Steve’s back, pulling him close. Bucky smelled like apples, probably his shampoo, and Steve laughed out loud a moment, wondering if it was “back of the truck” shampoo or just a favorite smell.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Hey now!”

“You smell good,” Steve said, running his hand through Bucky’s thick hair as though it explained everything, and Bucky grinned.

“I appreciate it, but I’d appreciate it even more if you’d bring this clothing equation back in balance!”

Steve let Bucky paw at his jeans, shimmying out of the denim and, after a moment, pulling down his boxers, pressing his own achingly hard cock against Bucky’s warm, toned thigh.

“You’re pretty damn perfect, Steve.” Bucky ran his hands down Steve’s back, holding his hips and Steve’s cheeks warmed again as he blushed even though they were both naked and kissing and rubbing against each other, the friction pleasurable and overwhelming all at once.

“Yeah, well, you’re not too bad yourself,” Steve said. Bucky winked and reached down, cupping Steve’s balls, tugging gently and Steve arched into the touch. “So, uh, I’d really like to fuck you,” Steve added, gasping as Bucky teased at his erection with featherlight touches. “If that’s something you’d be -”

“Been thinking about it for awhile,” Bucky confessed as his grip on Steve’s cock tightened, just a little, the friction that much more intense and Steve whined, warm and sensitive and wanting more. “Lemme just grab some stuff.”

Steve reluctantly rolled off of Bucky, and sat waiting and enjoying the view as Bucky moved to the other side of the bed, opening a drawer on his nightstand to grab lube and a condom.

“Safety first,” he said as he tossed the lube Steve’s way. Steve caught it and nodded. “Hey, and wait,” Bucky added. “You’re not thinking about recording this, are you?”

Laughing, Steve shook his head. And then he paused. “Uh, I mean, not unless you wanted me to.” And then he broke into a smile when Bucky blushed, actually paused and blushed as he considered it, looking up at the ceiling as though he were picturing what it might look like.

“Well I know you’d make me look like some sort of rock god the way you put these things together,” Bucky protested, his face red around the cheeks. “Of course a guy would maybe think about it.”

“Not for awhile,” Steve said, reaching out and pulling Bucky closer again. “See how things go for us.”

Bucky nodded as he lay on his back and let Steve close the distance between them. “Call it a hunch, but I think things are going to go really - Oh!” Bucky stopped, looking up at Steve and grinning as Steve let his finger roam lower, pressing ever so slightly at his entrance. Bucky pushed back.

Steve focused on the task at hand, easing a single finger against the ringed muscle and going so slowly that Bucky almost growled, impatient.

“You can go a little harder than that,” Bucky said, and almost instantly, Steve slipped his finger in. The bit of fullness Bucky felt was perfect and warm, and Bucky groaned. “Yes, just like that.”

“You got it,” Steve said. His second finger was working against Bucky’s entrance now and Bucky was wriggling with each movement, staring up at Steve’s face with lust-darkened eyes and Steve shuddered, remembering the first time he had seen that gaze. “Yes,” he muttered. “If you’ll let me someday, I am totally going to film you. God, Bucky. You’re overwhelming!”

Bucky’s cock twitched and Steve smiled, loving the effect his praise had. Or was it the promise of filming him? Either way, Steve wanted nothing more than to keep Bucky’s face looking like it did now, the way Bucky’s chest rose and fell so deeply with every movement of his fingers. And then Steve added a third finger, stretching firmly and watching Bucky for any sign of discomfort.

“Want you so bad, Steve.” Bucky’s voice was rough and deep and Steve could drown in it. He looked at Bucky spread out in front of him, moving against Steve’s fingers, his lips parted and panting.

Steve nodded, grabbing the condom and fumbling with it until Bucky reached up and took it, ripping it open and fitting it firmly over Steve’s erection. “Thanks,” Steve said. “I owe you one.”

Bucky gave him a look. “You can pay me back right now if you’d just start to move-” He cut off as Steve pressed between his legs, slowly but firmly, and Bucky closed his eyes.

“Gorgeous,” Steve said, enthralled. “Is this ok?”

“S’perfect,” Bucky said, eyelids fluttering as Steve filled him, inch by slow, steady inch. “Just like that.”

Steve breathed out slowly, the warm tightness around his cock setting a million nerve endings on fire. Steve thought he might burn up if he moved any slower, if he didn’t stop moving. His skin was warm, his chest flushed, his hands on either side of Bucky’s shoulders as he leaned down, kissing Bucky hard on the mouth and when Bucky moaned around his lips, he couldn’t help but start to move a little faster, rocking his hips against Bucky’s.

“You’re so good, Bucky,” Steve whispered in between kisses, “Just want you like this, just want you here with me.”

Bucky lifted his hips a little, forcing Steve in a little deeper and they both savored the sensation, Steve marveling at the way Bucky’s body tensed and relaxed with the motion and the way Bucky’s cock danced every time Steve moved inside him. Steve slowed for a moment to catch his breath and smiled as Bucky immediately began pouting.

With a kiss on Bucky’s forehead, Steve brought their hips back together, setting a pace he didn’t intend to keep for long. The fire that had been burning deep in his body raged up like an inferno, until he was panting and out of breath and his skin flushed, and Bucky was moving beneath him so beautifully. Steve came, his eyes closing as he shouted wordlessly, cock pulsing deep within Bucky, and Bucky tensed, his own erection twitching.

Steve pulled out slowly and then leaned over and grabbed the lube from by the bed. He got a handful, spreading it on Bucky’s lovely cock. He wrapped his fingers around the smooth skin, moving up and down as Bucky pushed his hips up against Steve’s hand for more friction, the two of them together until Bucky arched his hips one last time, a groan escaping his lips as he came, the warm cum pooling on his stomach.

For a moment, they just lay there, content, before Bucky pointed Steve in the direction of some tissues so they could clean up.

~~~

“So why SHIELD?” Steve asked as they lay together in the bed, sinking down in the soft mattress. “Does it mean anything?”

“Well,” Bucky said, wrapping his arm around Steve’s shoulders and pulling him closer until Steve was resting on his chest. “We haven’t thought of a good acronym yet. But the idea of a shield, of being a protective force - we had this idea that if we ever started making money, we could start a foundation, something for kids who need help if their family kicks them out.”

“Something you could have used.” Steve shifted, looking up and seeing the quiet fire in Bucky’s eyes.

Bucky nodded. “I was lucky, Steve. Some jackass of an ex in my background now, but that was it. Not everyone's that lucky.”

Steve nodded, solemn, and Bucky held him tighter for a moment before easing up.

“And I’m pretty lucky, y’know, to have ended up with you,” Bucky said.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Steve said as he reached an arm out, touching Bucky’s cheek. “But seriously. I’m feeling lucky myself.”

“You gonna show everyone the video tomorrow?” Bucky asked. “It is done, right?”

“Yup.” Steve grinned. “I can’t wait to see what everyone thinks!”

~~~

Sam’s mouth wasn’t quite on the ground, but it was close. “Damn, man. You made me look like I can fly.”

“You did the hard part,” Steve assured him, his smile lit up by the laptop and the novelty lights of the practice space. “All I had to do was get the angle right. We’re definitely working in a flip next time.”

“Oh, I’m gonna do it,” Sam said, watching the video as it began to repeat.

Natasha was grinning, Bucky had his arm around Steve’s shoulder, and Clint was nodding.

“This is good stuff.” Clint pointed to the screen. “So I don’t believe you when you say you can’t work out something for my vision.” He spread his hands in front of him, as though he could see it coming to life already.

“I might be able to meet you halfway,” Steve agreed. “But first, you guys are all ok with this posting as your first, uh, official music video?”

“It’s better than I expected,” Natasha said, shaking her head. “And with Bucky here singing your praises, I had some pretty high expectations.”

Bucky beamed and squeezed Steve’s hand. “Our future filmographer, right here,” he said. “And he didn’t even know it until we helped him see the light.”

“Pretty sure that was mainly you, and maybe some of your unmentionable bits,” Clint countered and everyone laughed.

Steve scratched at the back of his head, but he was smiling. “I submitted my copy to my professor for class, so we’ll see how the ‘professional’ review comes back. But I can post this whenever you guys are ready.”

“You didn’t tell me he was so talented,” Sharon was telling Peggy behind the group. “I would have tried a little harder to keep him for myself.”

“Would have had to get in line,” Peggy laughed. She smiled as she watched Bucky talking to Steve and Clint about possible locations for Clint’s dream music video. “But I think we did good. It’s nice to see the light back in his eyes.”

Sharon looked at Bucky too and nodded. “It is.”

“Time for a celebration,” Bucky announced as he pulled a large paper bag out of his backpack. “Maria sent me home today with bagels for everyone.”

“Nothing says ‘rock star lifestyle’ like a bagel,” Natasha said even as she snagged the cinnamon crunch bagel on the top.

“I can’t claim to be good at everything.” Bucky handed the bag around and everyone took a celebratory bagel. Steve produced some paper plates from his own bag and a tub of cream cheese he had kept cold with ice packs.

Peggy laughed as she raised her bagel. “A toast. To new beginnings.”

“A toast,” Clint repeated, looking at the bagel in his hand. Sam laughed behind them. “You kill me, Peggy.”

Steve sat down next to Bucky and stole a kiss, and smiled. “To new beginnings.”

“To us,” Bucky said as he wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist, the practice space filled with happy chatter and laughter and new love.

 

 

 

 

 

**Epilogue**

“D’you think it’s too much eyeliner?” Bucky asked as he looked at the mirror again. “Or not enough?” He saw Steve’s reflection in the corner. Steve was smiling, and nodding with that little glimmer in his eye that told Bucky it was just the right amount.

“You look perfect,” Steve confirmed as he stepped forward until he was just behind Bucky. He reached up and pushed back Bucky’s hair, tousling the ends. “Your hair is getting so long!”

“I’m really liking it this way.” Bucky checked his reflection one more time, smoothed out his shirt, and turned toward Steve. “You ready?”

“Whenever you are, love. I’ve already filmed everyone else. It’s just your close-ups left.” Steve grabbed the camera from the counter and the two headed out of the bathroom into the otherwise empty bar. Steve had recorded the band’s performance last night and Bucky was looking forward to see how they looked, playing in front of a crowd.

Bucky headed to the stage while Steve checked his camera angles and lighting.

“We’re gonna do some close ups of you singing the chorus, ok?” Steve was humming as he adjusted a light here and flipped a setting on his camera there. “All I need for you to do is sing your heart out and look gorgeous.”

“Well aren’t you in luck,” Bucky said as he picked up his microphone, his voice dropping lower and a grin spreading across his face. “I’ve got both of those covered.”

Steve nodded, looking at Bucky though the camera. The lights shone blue and purple on the wall behind him, the colors shining and bouncing through Bucky’s brown hair and highlighting his sparkling gray eyes as he opened his mouth to sing. “You’re right,” Steve said. “I am the luckiest guy alive.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Art crossposted to [Tumblr ](http://artgroves.tumblr.com/) in Alby's [ I'm With The Band tag](http://artgroves.tumblr.com/tagged/im-with-the-band/)


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